Tim Quote #3268

Quote from Tim in Home for the Holidays

Al: Anyway, I'm especially excited about decorating this year. This is my first Christmas in my new house.
Tim: Actually, it isn't your house. He rents it from me, so it would be my house.
Al: Well, technically, I...
Tim: Technically, the windows are mine, the roof is mine, the house is mine.
Al: Getting into the holiday spirit early, I see.
Tim: Ah, yes. Windows, bathtub, sinks, faucets. Mine, mine, mine, mine. Aren't they, Al? Mine, mine, mine...
Al: Well, this actually is my first Christmas...
Tim: Mine, mine, mine!

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 ‘Home for the Holidays’ Quotes

Quote from Tim

Heidi: Merry Christmas and welcome to Tool Time. We're live on Al's rooftop. Now, here's the star of the show, Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor.
Tim: Thank you, Heidi. I am Tim... Well, "The Yule Man" Taylor. And, of course, you all know my assistant, Al "Be Home for Christmas Just Like Every Other Night" Borland.

Quote from Tim

Randy: You know, I miss my friends. I miss writing for the school paper. I miss Arnold Schwarzenegger movies in English.
Tim: How do they say "Hasta la vista, baby" in Spanish?

 Tim Taylor Quotes

Quote from At Sea

Tim: I wanna talk about you and Angela.
Brad: Dad, there's nothing to talk about.
Tim: I want to talk about sex for a minute.
Brad: Dad, I don't want...
Tim: I want you to listen to me, please. Listen up. Sex is, um... It's like a car. The best idea is to keep the car in the garage for a long, long, long time. And then, somewhere in the future, the distant future, when that garage door opens... you gotta think, "car cover".

Quote from Her Cheatin' Mind

Chris: So the only character you liked was the handyman?
Tim: No. I think the hero of this fine novel would have to be the husband. [all laugh]
Chris: He was the quintessential dullard.
Tim: Well, dullard or mallard, I don't care. She was married and only her husband should be allowed near Madame's ovaries.