Tim: I'm not finished yet. I'm not finished yet. You know, just because a wood is coarse and unfinished doesn't make it inferior. You know, I believe this country was founded on the principle that all wood has the inalienable right to become a nice cabinet!
Al: What exactly is your point, Tim?
Tim: I mean that all wood is created equal, regardless of color, creed or burl. And fourscore and seven tables ago...
Al: We'll be right back to "Woodworking Week" after we medicate our host.

Wilson: Jill, everybody picks up certain negative characteristics from their parents.
Jill: Yeah, well, I knew I picked up negative characteristics from my mother. I didn't know I'd gotten them from my father, too. That hardly seems fair.
Wilson: Right there. See, now, by identifying them, you make the first step to overcoming them. You know, it took me years of hard work to get rid of my father's annoying traits.
Jill: Really? What was he like?
Wilson: Odd man. Kept to himself. Never really let people see the whole person.

Tim: Honestly, what do you think?
Jill: It's kind of a "lumber jacket."
Tim: [chuckles] Yeah! Yeah! That's good. I'm wearing this to kick off Woodworking Week. Honey, listen, the Calvin Pine collection.
Jill: You smell kind of like a bookshelf.
Tim: Yeah. It's Old Cedar.
Jill: It's very sexy.