Tim Quote #3082
Randy: Well, that's it. Lauren's on her way.
Jill: How are you?
Randy: I'm all right. A little sad.
Tim: Hey, of course you're sad. What you need is something to take your mind off this, okay? You know, when I have young girlfriends that leave me for the jungle... [off Jill's look] When something bad happens to me, well, I go to the garage and work on cars.
Jill: When anything happens to you, you go to the garage and work on cars.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Adios’ Quotes
Quote from Randy
Tim: We never talked about girls.
Randy: Well, I'm not leaving until Saturday. What do you want to know?
Quote from Wilson
Wilson: Tim, have you ever heard of a play...
Tim: No, no, no. No plays, no ballets, no chamber music. None of that. Just give it to me straight.
Wilson: [chuckles] I'm talking about the Shakespearean comedy As You Like It. Now in this play, the young Rosalind is uncomfortable expressing her feelings for the nobleman Orlando. The only way she can speak her mind is by dressing up as a man, the shepherd Ganymede.
Tim: Okay. What does a cross-dressing sheep lover have to do with me?
Wilson: Well, I suspect, just as Rosalind masqueraded as Ganymede, perhaps you were masquerading as Jill.
Tim: [looks around] Once I tried on a pump. It was Halloween, for God's sake!
Wilson: No, I'm talking about masquerading your feelings. I mean, is Jill really the one who will miss sharing the hot rod with Randy?
Tim: Of course. She's the one... Are you suggesting I stopped him from going because of my feelings?
Wilson: Well, that answer can only come from the masquerader.
Tim: All right, all right. I tried on the pantyhose, too.
Quote from Tim
Tim: But you're gonna be just fine. You're gonna do well.
Randy: You think so?
Tim: Yeah. You've survived every natural disaster known to man... right here in this house.