Tim Quote #2975
Quote from Tim in Believe It or Not
Tim: A lot of popular toys these days are remote control, cars, boats, planes, even submarines, but here's my favorite one right here.
Al: What would that be?
Tim: Well, the company calls it a flying saucer. It looks more like a blimp to me.
Al: I can't believe you'd be interested in this. It's quiet, simple, slow.
Tim: Just like you, Al. I've installed a little spy camera on it. Watch this.
[The spy camera shows two employees backstage, one of whom is smoking a cigarette]
Tim: Hey, what do you think this is, the teachers' lounge? Put out that butt.
[The employee flicks the cigarette butt at the flying saucer.]
Tim: Oh, the humanity!
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Believe It or Not’ Quotes
Quote from Benny
Tim: I'm talking about extraterrestrials.
Benny: Why would a guy need more than two? [Tim and Marty laugh]
Quote from Tim
Tim: OK. What do we do?
Randy: Well, we're all booted up. So access the server, double-click on the browser icon, and we'll be surfing the Net.
Tim: OK. You know, 20 years ago no one would've understood that sentence, and today it's just me.
Quote from Tim
Tim: Actually, you have spent a lot of time up on the roof. You ever noticed anything odd in the sky? Unusual sights?
Al: Uh, Tim, not with the aliens again.
Tim: No, I'm talking about UFOs, spaceships, that kind of stuff.
Al: I think the audience wants to talk about roofs, not about people from outer space.
Tim: You're awfully defensive about this.
Al: There are no aliens.
Tim: How do you know?
Tony: Hey, maybe he's hiding something.
Tim: Yeah, maybe he's hiding the fact that he's an alien.
Al: I am not now nor have I ever been an alien!
Tim: Oh, yeah? What do the first two letters of "alien" spell, Al?
Tony: Ooh...
Tim: And your mother's quite large. Perhaps she's the mothership.