Al Quote #390
Quote from Al in Futile Attraction
Al: Now, the way that this machine works is there are sensors in the pad which measure the velocity and the striking angle of the club. The vector and the velocity is then measured...
Tim: Al, shut up and shoot the thing, will you? [scoffs] Vector velocities.
[When Al takes his shot, it lands in the lake]
Computer: [v.o.] [plop in water sound] Ninety-five yards. Nice shot, miss.
Tim: All right, Payne. Let's see what you got. See what we can come up with here.
Computer: [v.o.] Two hundred-ninety-one yards. Nice drive.
Al: Wow. That was a great drive. Well, I guess this contest is over.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Futile Attraction’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: You don't understand. You do not understand. Al is like a dependable four-door Rambler and Heidi like a twelve-cylinder Ferrari. They don't belong in the same garage. And yet she parked overnight there.
Jill: Nothing happened!
Tim: But I won't rest until I find out what's going on.
Jill: Oh, Tim. Look, even if they were parked in the same garage, you are not their mechanic. You're just being petty.
Tim: Oh, I'm being petty?
Jill: Yeah. Why should you be the only one with an incredibly desirable woman? [blows nose]
Quote from Wilson
Wilson: Tim, it's not easy to change one's perceptions of things. But it can be very healthy. Some people might even say it's a growth experience.
Tim: OK, Wilson. But how far does this go? I mean, how do I really know you are who I think you are?
Wilson: Well, how do I know you're who I think you are?
Tim: How do I know you're the one who said that?
Wilson: How do I know you heard what I said?
Tim: How do I know you're here really?
Wilson: Who else would have the time to come out and listen to this silly conversation?
Quote from Tim
Tim: No, no. If what you say is true then everything I believe is false.
Wilson: Now, Tim. That's not necessarily.
Tim: Let me go with this for a minute. Let me go. OK? This means that maybe cars aren't the most important thing in the world.
Wilson: Ohh...
Tim: No, wait a minute. Opera's more manly than football?
Wilson: Neighbor...
Tim: Al's mother is thin?