Wilson Quote #354
Willow: Oh, hi. How's it going, Jill?
Jill: Hey, Willow. Oh, that's a great looking turkey.
Willow: Actually, it's 100 percent soybean. It's called a "soy-key".
Wilson: I am so looking forward to Thanksgiving. You know, it's the first time in years that the whole Wilson clan has all been together. Uncle Wilbur.
Willow: Aunt Willemina.
Wilson: Cousin Wilford.
Willow: Uncle Willard.
Wilson: Grandma Wilma.
Willow: And Bob.
Wilson: He's the black sheep.
Jill: Ah. Well, every family has to have a troublemaker.
Wilson: No, no, no. Bob is a very nice sheep. He just gets cranky at shearing time.
Quote from Tim
Ted: These are the transformers and all the breakers. I love spending time down here.
Tim: Who wouldn't? The place is so homey.
Ted: If you like this, wait till you see our control room. That's where we operate all of the Silverdome's lights and our 2,000 toilets.
Tim: Wait a minute. Two thousand toilets? Is there a button you can press to flush them all at once?
Ted: No, but I'll bring it up at the next board meeting. You're a thinker. I like that.
Quote from Tim
Ted: Hello, Taylor family. Welcome to box 12. I'm Ted, your personal Silverdome liaison and I've got hats.
Jill: Oh, thank you. I'm Jill Taylor. And that's Randy, Mark and Brad and my husband, Tim Taylor.
Ted: Hey, it's "The Tool Man." [imitating Tim] "Oh! Oh!"
Tim: Good to meet you, Ted. Um, you look awful familiar. Have we met before?
Ted: No. Perhaps you've met one of my brothers. Ned or Fred?
Tim: Wait a minute. One brother works at the airport in Alpena. And the other brother at a gas station in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, I've met them.
Ted: Yes. I hope they didn't give you any trouble. They've always been pretty ornery. One time they held me down and packed my nose with candy corn.
Jill: Kids can be so cruel.
Ted: This was last Christmas. By the way, Tim, I've been authorized to give you a tour of the Silverdome's nerve center. Home of our state-of-the-art electrical and plumbing system.
Tim: Somebody pinch me!
Quote from Bye Bye Birdie
Tim: I want Brad to be a good student.
Tim: So I told him that multiplying compound fractions is a real important part of that. But, you know, between you and me, it's kinda useless information.
Wilson: Well, I don't know about that, Tim. There was a time when I thought my extensive research into ancient tribal cultures, obscure scientific data, the thoughts of great philosophers, would never come in handy. Then you moved in.
Quote from Doctor in the House
Wilson: A Ph.D.?! Tim? Aw, Jill, Jill, Jill, Jill... Do you realize how many hours I had to study to get my doctorate in forgotten languages and extinct cultures? Oh, my, my, my. Sitting in that library, reading that insufferable microfilm till I thought I would practically go blind? Not to mention that to support myself, I had to volunteer as a subject for lab experiments. Oh, oh. And the thing that really irritates me about this whole thing...
Wilson: Oh, Jill, Jill, talk me down, talk me down.
Jill: I came out here so you'd talk me down.
Wilson: Oh, I'm sorry, Jill. I just lost control.