Tim Quote #2711
Quote from Tim in Losing My Religion
Al: Ladies and gentlemen, let's have a warm Tool Time welcome for the minister of the St. Stephens Episcopal Church. Heidi, my minister please, Father Mike Weber. [an organ version of the Tool Time theme plays]
Tim: Father, it's really good to have you on this show. I wonder how you feel being the first holy man to ever be on Tool Time.
Mike Webber: Well, I'm not basking in the glory. I just hope I get out alive. [Al chuckles]
Tim: Well, you don't have much to worry about, since you have an in with the big guy. And I'm not talking about Al.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Losing My Religion’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: You know, there's a place where people get together and pray for God's protection.
Randy: Dad, I'm not going to church.
Tim: I was talking about Tool Time.
Quote from Jill
Jill: So what exactly are you going to be doing at the hospice?
Randy: I'll be spending my time with a woman named Elaine. You know, we'll play cards, watch videos.
Tim: Hey, why don't you take her some old Tool Time videos?
Jill: The woman has suffered enough.
Quote from Tim
Jill: What is this? I mean, you're not exactly Mr. Religious. I mean, half the time in church you fall asleep.
Tim: But I'm in the building, so I get credit.
Jill: [laughs] Is that what this is about?
Tim: That's God's plan.
Jill: God's plan?
Tim: Yes, you go to church, you get credit. You fall asleep, you lose a credit. You understand the sermon, you get extra credit. If you get enough credits, you can bypass hell and upgrade right to heaven.