Jill Quote #775
Jill: Mark, wait! None of you is using the phone until we work out a system of phone usage for you boys.
Tim: All right, listen up.
Jill: OK, it's very simple. Each of you will be allotted 45 minutes a day of phone time. You can't use it continuously unless nobody else is waiting. Of course, none of these rules apply during off-peak times, which would be 9:00 to 5:00 on weekdays, all day on the weekend, and any time your father and I are home. Also, keep in mind, if you fail to use your daily allotment, you can't apply that to future phone usage. Does that sound fair, Tim?
Tim: I lost you after "it's all very simple."
Quote from Tim
Tim: Hey, Wilson.
Wilson: Hidey-ho, neighbor.
Tim: What are you doing over there?
Wilson: Tim, are you familiar with the I Ching?
Tim: Sure. The "I Ching," the scratching, the chafing. That's why I switched to boxers, my friend.
Wilson: Oh, my!
Quote from Tim
Tim: Now, this is like an automated doll house. Of course Al would have an automated dull house.
Al: Well, what would be so great about your automated house?
Tim: Yeah? I'll show you. In my house, let's say I want my plants to have perfect sun, all right? Press this plant icon, and my house rotates from a northern exposure to a beautiful sunny western exposure.
Al: Well, I wouldn't want to be living in a spinning house.
Tim: Who invited ya? Now, here's a good one. Let's say your neighbors put on a two-story addition, you can't even see the stockyards anymore. Press this. And your house rises to the occasion. "When you go get the paper, honey, watch that first step. It's a mean one."
Al: This feature is also good for keeping away pesky door-to-door salesmen. [laughs]
Tim: And speaking of keeping people away from you... You know, when the mother-in-law comes to visit you, perfect opportunity to use the automated house. She's not getting in here. No way. [the house disappears below the ground and a "Lot for sale" sign springs up]
Quote from Back in the Saddle Shoes Again
Tim: Well, let me ask you a question. Have you ever wished that you'd married somebody as smart as you?
Jill: You think I'm smarter than you?
Jill: Well, that just shows how smart you are.
Tim: You didn't answer the question.
Jill: Do I ever wish that I married somebody else? Why would I wanna marry anybody else? You're funny, you're sexy, creative, you take chances, and you're definitely not afraid to be wrong. I'm perfectly happy being married to a man who thinks that PBS is something that women get once a month.
Tim: What I said was, "Once a month is enough for PBS." And way too much for the other thing.
Quote from Room at the Top
Jill: Yeah, well this is only about ten percent of my problems. The other 90 percent... I'm married, too. You see, my husband, he's going through this sort of midlife crisis thing, you know, "Who am I? Where am I? Should I grow a beard? Should I buy a hunting lodge?" And then... And then... And then today, Brad spilled a soda on my paper, Mark's asking for skulls, and before I knew it, I was asking my husband to start construction on an office.
Dr. Breen: What's- What's wrong with your husband building you an office?
Jill: I'm married to Tim Taylor.
Dr. Breen: Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor?
Jill: Yeah, and maybe you'd better switch to a tape recorder here.
Dr. Breen: I hope I have enough batteries.