Tim Quote #2245
Quote from Tim in I Was a Teenage Taylor
Tim: Thank you, Heidi. Nice crisp autumn afternoon. Thank you for being here. I am Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor.
And you all know my assistant, Al "Autumn Boy" Borland. [cheering] Well, continuing wall treatment week here on Tool Time, Al and I are doing our salute to wallpaper... [ripping sound] ...removal.
Al: How you get rid of your wallpaper depends on what kind you have. Now, strippable wallpaper is the easiest to remove.
Tim: Al's gonna strip now, so those of you with weaker stomachs look away.
Al: You simply pry up a corner and pull down in a... [a bloody head tears through the wall] Whoa!
Tim: Oh. By the way, Happy Halloween, Al.
Al: That was not funny.
Tim: Well, apparently the audience laughed for no reason.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘I Was a Teenage Taylor’ Quotes
Quote from Randy
Randy: All right. One candy bar for the spaceman. And seven for the cute little lion cub.
Quote from Al
Brad: How would you like to help us do this prank on our parents?
Al: Well, I wouldn't feel so bad about scaring your dad again, but no, I wouldn't feel right scaring your mom.
Randy: Really? Even after what she said about you?
Al: What did she say about me?
Randy: Oh, I believe she referred to your little Halloween party as "the marathon yawn-a-thon".
Al: Jill said that?
Randy: That's what I heard. What about you, Brad?
Brad: Yeah, I heard her say that. She also said your mom doesn't bob for apples. She bobs for ham hocks.
Al: I'm in!
Quote from Al
Brad: Now we gotta think of something just as good to get back at them.
Al: Well, you're Tim's sons. I'm sure you inherited the torture chromosome.