Al Quote #303
Quote from Al in Al's Video
Tim: Okay, today Felix is gonna show us the proper way to caulk a toilet, shower or sink.
Felix: And I can also show you how to caulk your windows and glass doors.
Tim: Good, we'll see that later.
Al: Well, in the interest of time, why don't we concentrate just on bathroom fixtures?
Tim: Al's always interested in saving time, even at the expense of quality.
Al: I am all for quality, but time is money.
Tim: Always money? That how you see it?
Felix: Getting back to caulking... There are different types: Acrylic with latex, oil-based and silicone.
Tim: Marv, why don't you come in and get a nice product shot here?
Al: Why not a panoramic shot, Tim? Bring in a crane. Or we could rip off the roof and get a shot from a helicopter.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Al's Video’ Quotes
Quote from Wilson
Wilson: You know, Tim, this reminds me of a famous quote by Aristotle. "He who has not learned to obey cannot be a great leader."
Tim: I should have let him do it his way. I had this vision. I was gonna do something magnificent, trying to emulate the great Hitchcock.
Wilson: Alfred or Herb?
Tim: The director! Herb.
Wilson: No, no, no, no, Tim. You don't want to emulate Herb Hitchcock.
Tim: Yes, I do. He was fabulous.
Wilson: Well, he was kicked out of the business...
Tim: Oh, that's what everybody says.
Wilson: ...for going wildly over budget. He hired a cast of thousands for the staining scene in How to Make a Table part three.
Tim: It was brilliant. Staining a table during a chariot race. Come on!
Quote from Harry
Al: Hey, guys. Guess what? I have just been asked to star in my very own video!
Harry: [chuckling] The Al Borland Workout? Abs of Flab.
Tim: That's something you want to see, Al in a thong. "All right, girls, two, three... Watch those carbs. Come on. Late night snacks, that's a no-no."
Quote from Harry
Harry: Hey, can I be in your video?
Tim: We never put you on Tool Time. Why would Al put you in a video?
Harry: Well, I got a lot of experience in dinner theater.
Tim: You were an actor?
Harry: No, a waiter.