Delores Quote #19
Quote from Delores in Future Shock
Marty: Oh, listen. If Tim is anything like Bob, he'll never change. Every night it's the same. Seven o'clock: "Where's the food?" Seven-oh-five: "You call that food?" Seven-fifteen: "Why'd you let me eat so much food?"
Jill: Tim does all that. Then he opens his pants, sticks out his gut, and belches.
Delores: Nobody is more set in his ways than Harry. Every Saturday night at 11:30 after the sports report, he wakes me up and asks the same question: "You want to do it?"
Marge: And they say romance is dead.
Delores: It's been that way for 25 years. I wish he could be a little more spontaneous and skip a Saturday every once in a while.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Future Shock’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Jill: Tim, why can't you just eat breakfast and then shower?
Tim: If I eat breakfast early, I'll be hungry when I get to work. Then I'll have a snack and push lunch way back.
Jill: So?
Tim: Come on. Follow me here. If I push lunch back I won't eat dinner till late. I'll go to bed bloated, feel uneasy and won't sleep. I'll be too tired to go to work. Al will have to do Tool Time. Ratings will plummet. We'll lose the show, lose our jobs, lose our money, lose our house, be in a cardboard box on the freeway. If you think taking a shower is worth that...
Jill: Oh, just go!
Quote from Tim
[dream sequence:]
Tim: Hey, Wilson?
Wilson: Well, hidey-ho, there, studly neighbor.
Tim: Today at Tool Time, Al and Heidi quit.
Wilson: Uh, mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Tim: Do you have any words of wisdom for me?
Wilson: Well, Tim, nothing of any significance. I've been giving you advice for so many decades, I'm at the bottom of the barrel. Barrel. How about this? More fun than a barrel of monkeys.
Tim: That- That- That doesn't help me very much.
Wilson: Uh... um, "monkey see, monkey do".
Tim: You gotta do better than this. I mean, getting advice from you is one of my routines.
Wilson: Well, it's your routine that sucked me dry.
Tim: Come on. You gotta have something.
Wilson: Well, let's try this one on for size. There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She got sick of your routine and I did, too. [Wilson has a shoe on his head]
Quote from Jill
[dream sequence:]
Jill: I can't believe I've been in college for 35 years. But all I have to do is finish the very last sentence of my dissertation and I'll finally get my doctorate.
Tim: Doctor? Are you takin' me to the doctor?
Jill: I'm not takin' you to the doctor. I'm trying to get my doctorate.
Tim: Who's gonna take me to the doctor?
Jill: Nobody. You're not sick. Except in the head. Now let me work. The president of the university is gonna be here any second.
Tim: Is he a doctor? I hope so.
Jill: Oh, no. He's coming here to pick up my dissertation!
Tim: Why don't you just take it to him?
Jill: Because I have to be here to make you lunch and help you to the bathroom.
Tim: Well, just feed me lunch in the bathroom.
Jill: Better yet, I'll lock you in the bathroom.
Tim: Grouchy old bitty.
Jill: What did you say?
Tim: Who remembers?
Jill: Eh.