Tim Quote #2125
Tim: How does it feel to work on your first hot rod?
Mark: Dad, I worked on the last one.
Tim: You did? What did you do?
Mark: Tightened the radiator hose.
Tim: I remember the radiator hose, but I don't remember you. [grunts] Oh, yeah.
Mark: Thanks a lot, Dad.
Tim: Don't take it personally. When a man works on a hot rod, he tunes out all that doesn't have a motor in it.
Quote from Al
Al: Boy, this is great! I'm telling you, the phones are ringing off the hook! I never thought this game would catch fire so soon.
Tim: Well, it did.
Al: What do you need to talk to me about?
Tim: Well, I think they might have put the wrong wire in it. It's defective. We played it last night and it caught fire.
Al: Caught fire? Everything you do catches fire.
Quote from At Sea
Tim: I wanna talk about you and Angela.
Brad: Dad, there's nothing to talk about.
Tim: I want to talk about sex for a minute.
Brad: Dad, I don't want...
Tim: I want you to listen to me, please. Listen up. Sex is, um... It's like a car. The best idea is to keep the car in the garage for a long, long, long time. And then, somewhere in the future, the distant future, when that garage door opens... you gotta think, "car cover".
Quote from Her Cheatin' Mind
Chris: So the only character you liked was the handyman?
Tim: No. I think the hero of this fine novel would have to be the husband. [all laugh]
Chris: He was the quintessential dullard.
Tim: Well, dullard or mallard, I don't care. She was married and only her husband should be allowed near Madame's ovaries.