Al Quote #283
Quote from Al in Alarmed by Burglars
Al: I hope they didn't get his mucous cup.
Harry: What the hell is a mucous cup?
Al: Well, it's an earthenware goblet from Africa that's used as a spittoon for excess phlegm.
Tim: You sure seem to know a lot about a mucous cup. Were you around the crime scene eleven or so this morning?
Marty: Yeah, Al. Everybody knows you always dreamed of owning a complete set of mucous-ware.
Al: No matter how much I covet a mucous cup, I would never steal one.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Alarmed by Burglars’ Quotes
Quote from Wilson
Wilson: How could you let Tim put in such a ridiculous alarm system?
Jill: Well, it was actually my idea.
Wilson: Your idea?
Jill: Yeah. After you got robbed, I got scared. I started imaging horrible things happening to the family. Crazy people lurking behind every door, scaring the kids, taking all our stuff.
Wilson: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And you thought that by putting in a state-of-the-art alarm system, you'd no longer be afraid.
Jill: Well, yeah. But now all I'm afraid of is setting off this insane system!
Wilson: Well, Jill, I wouldn't worry about it. As the physicist Edward Teller told me over borscht at the Russian Tea Room, total security has never been available to anyone. To expect it is unrealistic. To imagine that it can exist is an invite to disaster.
Quote from Al
Tim: Guys, I'm serious. I'm serious. I think it's time "The Tool Man" just scaled back a bit.
Benny: Yeah, right. That would be like Babe Ruth bunting.
Marty: Raquel Welch wearing a parka.
Harry: Benny picking up a check.
Al: It would be like my mother going to a buffet and only having a salad. Did I say that?
Quote from Jill
Jill: Look, if this can happen to Wilson, it can happen to us! I want floodlights, surveillance cameras, uh, uh, uh...
panic buttons, uh, uh, the works, everything!
Tim: You know, I am... I am getting very excited. I hope this isn't just a big tease.
Jill: I am not teasing you. I am turning you loose to buy the biggest, most powerful security system that money can buy.
Tim: [groans] Ohh...
Jill: I will even allow you to do a Tool Time remote in the house.
Tim: I have never loved you as much as I do at this moment.