Tim Quote #2067
Quote from Tim in Mr. Wilson's Opus
Tim: Overlapping these panels is an art form.
Al: That's right. And you want to nail these panels right into the stud. Now, you can help yourself by pre-measuring where the studs are on your old siding. Tim, however, already knows...
Tim: Where the stud is. Of course I do. But Al's point is well-taken, 'cause you might inadvertently nail right in through a gas line. [drills]
Al: Or water line.
Tim: Or worse yet, electrical line. [sparks fly]
Al: [screams] Aah!
[As electricity surges through his body, Al is thrown backwards onto a rotating display.]
Tim: Well... aluminum is a great conductor of electricity. Al? You all right, buddy? Al? [turns the display around] Well, at least we know he's "Al-live."
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Mr. Wilson's Opus’ Quotes
Quote from Al
Tim: Welcome to Tool Time. I am Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. And you all know my assistant, Al "He's a Thorn in My - ow! Siding" Borland.
Al: What Tim is trying to say is that it's Siding Week on Tool Time. And today we're gonna be working with aluminum. Or as I like to call it: "Al-luminum."
Tim: You know, you're the only one that thinks it's funny putting the word "Al" in every sentence.
Al: "Al" be the judge of that. [snorts]
Tim: A few more jokes like that, you'll be working in "Al-toona."
Al: Sorry. All right, let's get to our "inst-Al-lation."
Tim: Would you stop it, please?
Quote from Al
Tim: Last time, we showed you how to install your half-inch foam board over your existing shingles. Now it's time to turn to aluminum.
Al: That's right. And our siding comes in 12-foot lengths. You're often gonna need to cut this around the lighting fixtures and faucets.
Al: Which means you'll have to do some measuring.
Tim: Al uses the old carpenter's adage, "Measure twice, cut once."
Al: Tim's adage is, "Never measure, cut yourself."
Quote from Wilson
Tim: Well, I'm putting the finishing touches on the aluminum set. What do you think?
Wilson: Well, I'm thinking I won't be able to use this set.
Tim: [inquisitive grunt]
Wilson: Tim, the suburban interpretation - it's all wrong. Why not just give Juliet a three-car garage?
Tim: All right, I see it. If we're gonna go with this, three-car garage. She's Italian. Doesn't want to get the Ferraris rained on. I like it!
Wilson: Tim, the sets have to fit my vision.
Tim: Pardonnez-moi. I happen to be the set designer.
Wilson: And I am the director.