Marty: Guess your day's going better than ours.
Tim: Guess again. The Mustang's in the shop. I'm driving Jill's Nomad. I hate driving her car. I get in there... Of course, no gas, hasn't been washed in, like, three months. There's cookie crumbs in the front seat. Why can't she take care of a car? How simple would it be...
Delores: Could it be that she's a tad busy going to school, raising three kids and making sure you have a nice house to come home to?
Tim: Could be. [Delores walks off] This is unbelievable! Something's seriously wrong with this country if you can't walk in a hardware store and complain about your wife, I'll tell you that right now.

Wilson: I was just on my way over there to wish you and Jill a happy Terminalia Day.
Tim: Happy Terminalia Day?
Wilson: Mm-hmm.
Tim: What's this one all about?
Wilson: Ah, Terminalia Day. Well, this is a Roman festival where neighbors bond with each other in order to promote the spirit of community.
Tim: Wonderful. How do they do that?
Wilson: Well, traditionally, they slaughter a suckling pig and then they splatter their fences with its blood.
Tim: Well, I've slaughtered a marriage this week. Bring on the pig!

Tim: This is about a couple that shouldn't be splitting up. He's singing and dancing about it. But I know differently. I know somewhere this guy still loves her. Somewhere inside he loves her. I know that!
Wilson: Tim, that is so insightful.
Tim: Don't start with me. Just give me some advice on how I can help my friend Harry.
Wilson: Well, have you tried talking to him?
Tim: Yes, I've tried talking to him. I've been to the hardware store. Called him a couple of times. But he acts like nothing's going on.
Wilson: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Tim, I'm reminded of the French author, Andre Gide, who wrote: "It is not by plugging away at a difficulty that one can overcome it. Often it's by working on the difficulty next to it."
Tim: Ah! I did not know that.