Tim Quote #1951
Quote from Tim in The Vasectomy One
Jill: Wait until I tell you about what I found out at school today. You know my friend Patty?
Tim: That woman you like 'cause she's older than you?
Jill: Yeah. Get a load of this. She's pregnant.
Tim: That's great.
Jill: Patty doesn't think it's so great. She's 43 years old. She's got teenagers at home. She was so thrilled to be back at school, and now everything's gonna change.
Tim: Well, maybe Patty and Mr. Patty should have used some precautions.
Jill: They were using precautions. The same kind we use.
Tim: [grunts] Oh, no.
Jill: I wouldn't want to find myself in that boat.
Tim: I wouldn't want to find myself in that harbor.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘The Vasectomy One’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: I thought you were talking about the tube-tying thing.
Jill: Well, I am talking about tube-tying, except it's your tubes.
Tim: You can back up that clip ship right now.
Jill: Honey, it is much safer for a man to get a vasectomy than it is for a woman to have a tubal ligation.
Tim: Says who? The Wives with Knives Club?
Quote from Jill
Tim: A woman? You brought me here to see a woman?
Jill: I didn't know she was a woman. My gynecologist just said that Dr. Kaplan was the best urologist in town.
Tim: How am I supposed to talk to a woman about what's going on in manland?
Jill: Manland? Now you got a theme park between your legs?
Quote from Tim
Jill: Why don't you tell us what's involved in the procedure.
Tim: Yeah, I'm dying to hear this.
Dr. Kaplan: Well, the morning of your appointment, you'll have to shave in the area where I'll be making the incisions.
Tim: Shave? Here?
Dr. Kaplan: It's just a routine procedure.
Tim: Not in my house it's not. What do you think? I wake up, brush my teeth and shave ping and pong?
Jill: Well, you could go to a barber, but it might be a little awkward.