Randy Quote #240
Quote from Randy in 'Twas the Flight Before Christmas
Tim: All right. Great news, guys. This year you're going to help me beat Doc Johnson in the lighting contest.
Mark: Cool. I can't believe you're going to let us help this year.
Tim: Well, you've earned it. You're a year older, more mature, more responsible.
Randy: And since you're going out of town, you have no choice.
Tim: Hey, hey, hey! What have I always taught you what Christmas is all about?
Randy: Beating the pants off an 80-year-old proctologist in a lighting contest.
Tim: That's the spirit.
Features in the collection: Christmas Quotes.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Christmas Quotes’
Quote from Mark in Yule Better Watch Out
Jill: Actually, honey. I think that those guys at the mall are Santa's helpers, you know. The way that AI is Daddy's helper.
Tim: Right.
Mark: So they do all the work.
Jill: Yeah.
Tim: They assist Santa. Like AI assists me.
Mark: Oh, that makes sense.
Quote from Randy in Yule Better Watch Out
Randy: OK, fine. Here's the truth. There used to be a Santa Claus. But he died six years ago.
Brad: Yep, you just missed out.
Mark: Santa Claus isn't dead.
Randy: Yes, he is. He had a terrible accident with one of his reindeer. Blitzen fell on him.
Mark: He's really dead?
Brad: Kicked the bucket.
Randy: Bought the dirt farm.
Brad: Six feet under.
Randy: Pushing up the daisies.
Brad: Deader than a doornail.
Randy: Stiff as a board.
Brad: Cold as ice.
Randy: Met his maker.
‘'Twas the Flight Before Christmas’ Quotes
Quote from Jill
Al: You know, Ilene, I resent your attitude towards my mother. She's a wonderful, giving woman who lights up all the lives she touches.
Ilene: Oh, please! I am so sick of you putting your mother up on a pedestal!
Jill: [quietly to Tim] You got to admire him for having the strength to hoist her up there. Oh, my God! I'm turning into you.
Tim: It's kind of fun, isn't it?
Quote from Tim
Tim: We really have to get there. Is there a car-rental counter here?
Clerk: Of course. [removes the "Ticket Counter" sign and puts up a "Pilgrim Car Rental" sign] Now, what kind of car would you like? We're running a special on convertibles.
Tim: It's four degrees outside.
Clerk: Then I'd advise you to leave the top up.
Al: Could you give us a map so we could find our way to Kinross?
Clerk: No problem. I don't think the map is going to do you much good.
Al: Why not?
Clerk: The roads are closed.
Tim: Well, why are we renting a car if we can't drive it anywhere?
Clerk: I was wondering the same thing myself.
Quote from Al
Tim: Well, it looks like we're going to make it home in time for Christmas, Al.
Al: The only problem is I still don't know what to do about Ilene and my mother. How can I choose between the woman who means more to me than anything, or my girlfriend?