Tim Quote #1810
Tim: It's both of us, you know. I've been working so hard, you've been at school.
Jill: That's no excuse. I just read this survey. It said that that some couples, no matter how busy they are, still make love five times a week.
Tim: With each other?!
Jill: Yeah. Yeah, I'm serious.
Tim: Five nights a week? I'm surprised they have the energy for the survey.
Quote from Brad
Al: I'm not leaving here until we get ten good ideas. Hey, you know, maybe what we need is a young, fresh perspective. Brad, what would you like to see on Tool Time?
Brad: A salute to Heidi.
Quote from Jill
Tim: Come on. Every marriage goes through these down times.
Jill: Well, I'm wondering when your downtime is gonna be coming back up.
Quote from Tim
Jill: I'm saying that we could make more effort.
Tim: I made effort the other morning, you weren't interested.
Jill: Well, maybe it had something to do with your approach.
Tim: What was wrong with my approach?
Jill: I believe your exact words were, "Honey, I've got three minutes. Let's go."
Tim: How much time do you need?
Jill: More than three minutes. Enough time to connect emotionally, feel romantic.
Tim: Is there any way you can get some of this stuff done before I get there?
Quote from At Sea
Tim: I wanna talk about you and Angela.
Brad: Dad, there's nothing to talk about.
Tim: I want to talk about sex for a minute.
Brad: Dad, I don't want...
Tim: I want you to listen to me, please. Listen up. Sex is, um... It's like a car. The best idea is to keep the car in the garage for a long, long, long time. And then, somewhere in the future, the distant future, when that garage door opens... you gotta think, "car cover".
Quote from Her Cheatin' Mind
Chris: So the only character you liked was the handyman?
Tim: No. I think the hero of this fine novel would have to be the husband. [all laugh]
Chris: He was the quintessential dullard.
Tim: Well, dullard or mallard, I don't care. She was married and only her husband should be allowed near Madame's ovaries.
Quote from The Look
Benny: What's the look?
Tim: Oh, come on. It's just the most potent weapon in a woman's arsenal. Her face will transform right in front of you. Her lips get really tight like this.
Marty: Yeah. And then her whole face shrivels up. It's like...
Harry: Yeah. And then her eyes get real small and meet right in the middle of her head like a Cyclops in a housecoat.
Tim: Just when you think you can't take anymore, she lines you up and finishes you off.
Benny: Ohh! I'm never getting married. And not just because women can't stand me.