Tim Quote #1684

Quote from Tim in The First Temptation of Tim

Jill: It's the first day of school! No one ever gets detention on the first day of school.
Tim: I wouldn't say no one.
Jill: What did you do?
Tim: Nothing! Bruce Tyler was throwing spit wads at me. I had to do something.
Jill: I meant Brad. What did you do to get detention?
Brad: Nothing.
Jill: I see. So this is just one of those "Come and get to know the other delinquents" sort of thing?
Brad: Look, I told you, OK? I didn't do anything.
Jill: You believe that?
Tim: It's terrible. Teachers are still giving detention for nothing.

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 ‘The First Temptation of Tim’ Quotes

Quote from Delores

Tim: [to Bud] I've been together with Al for six years, though.
Delores: OK, you've got 14 plates of potatoes coming.
Tim: That's... That's just great, Delores.
Delores: OK, I've got hash browns, home fries or O'Briens.
Tim: Am I your only customer?
Delores: No, but you're my favorite.

Quote from Bud

Tim: Bud, I-I can't do Tool Time without Al. Everybody loves Al.
Bud: Oh, no, no, no, not everybody. Now, we did some audience testing and the numbers show that Al is a big dud with the younger viewers.
Tim: I don't put much stock in audience testing.
Bud: Well, now, you tested through the roof.
Tim: On the other hand, it's quite a valuable tool.
Bud: Oh, audiences love you. Of course, they don't love you as much as they love Heidi.
Tim: Yeah, that's funny. You're not kidding? Heidi tested better than me?
Bud: Heidi tested better than Santa Claus.

 Tim Taylor Quotes

Quote from At Sea

Tim: I wanna talk about you and Angela.
Brad: Dad, there's nothing to talk about.
Tim: I want to talk about sex for a minute.
Brad: Dad, I don't want...
Tim: I want you to listen to me, please. Listen up. Sex is, um... It's like a car. The best idea is to keep the car in the garage for a long, long, long time. And then, somewhere in the future, the distant future, when that garage door opens... you gotta think, "car cover".

Quote from Her Cheatin' Mind

Chris: So the only character you liked was the handyman?
Tim: No. I think the hero of this fine novel would have to be the husband. [all laugh]
Chris: He was the quintessential dullard.
Tim: Well, dullard or mallard, I don't care. She was married and only her husband should be allowed near Madame's ovaries.