Tim Quote #1624
Tim: Just great. Look at the time, huh? Now it's off to work I go without my "hi-de-ho."
Quote from Al
Tim: All right. Let's give a big, warm Tool Time welcome for Cal "He's gotta be better-looking than Al" Borland. I don't see any family resemblance, do you?
Al: Well, actually, I take after Father and Cal looks like Mother.
Tim: And a fine-looking woman she is. Come on, Cal. You wanna tell us about growing up with Al?
Cal: I don't think so, Tim. [Al and Cal snort]
Al: [laughs] He's got that Borland humor.
Tim: Yeah, the kind that isn't funny.
Quote from Wilson
Tim: Could I talk to Wilson for a minute? I got a couple of minutes before I go to work.
Jill: You'll have to wait.
Tim: I can't wait.
Jill: I'm sorry, we only have one Wilson and I'm using him.
Wilson: You know, neighbors, I am a friend. I'm not a rest room.
Jill: I'm sorry, Wilson. Tim, come on, I know you wanna talk to Wilson about me, but I was here first.
Tim: Well, hurry up. I don't know how long I can hold it.
Quote from At Sea
Tim: I wanna talk about you and Angela.
Brad: Dad, there's nothing to talk about.
Tim: I want to talk about sex for a minute.
Brad: Dad, I don't want...
Tim: I want you to listen to me, please. Listen up. Sex is, um... It's like a car. The best idea is to keep the car in the garage for a long, long, long time. And then, somewhere in the future, the distant future, when that garage door opens... you gotta think, "car cover".
Quote from Her Cheatin' Mind
Chris: So the only character you liked was the handyman?
Tim: No. I think the hero of this fine novel would have to be the husband. [all laugh]
Chris: He was the quintessential dullard.
Tim: Well, dullard or mallard, I don't care. She was married and only her husband should be allowed near Madame's ovaries.