Al Quote #220
Tim: It's springtime on Tool Time. Al, you know what that means?
Al: Yes, I do, Tim. It means you're having me clean your patio furniture again.
Tim: And boy, it's a mess this year. Now, there are simple solutions for taking old paint and rust off right off that chair.
Al: Although one solution would be not to leave your furniture out all winter.
Tim: Then we wouldn't have any rust, we wouldn't have a show and you wouldn't have what, Al?
Al: A very small paycheck.
Quote from Tim
Tim: Just great. Look at the time, huh? Now it's off to work I go without my "hi-de-ho."
Quote from Al
Tim: All right. Let's give a big, warm Tool Time welcome for Cal "He's gotta be better-looking than Al" Borland. I don't see any family resemblance, do you?
Al: Well, actually, I take after Father and Cal looks like Mother.
Tim: And a fine-looking woman she is. Come on, Cal. You wanna tell us about growing up with Al?
Cal: I don't think so, Tim. [Al and Cal snort]
Al: [laughs] He's got that Borland humor.
Tim: Yeah, the kind that isn't funny.
Quote from Dead Weight
Al: I was just thinking about my mother, all the great times we used to have. When I was a kid, she used to take us to the park. We'd fly kites, she'd push us on the swing. We'd spend hours on the teeter-totter.
Tim: I used to love the teeter-totter. Up and down. Up and down.
Tim: Well, they play it differently in different parts of the country.
Quote from This Joke's for You
Al: What, your little bell will send 5,000 volts coursing through my body? [chuckles] While he stands back and yells, "Remember the Al-amo!"
Tim: I just want you to press the bell.
Al: I know... It's just a setup, isn't it? It's one big setup.
Tim: It is not a setup!
Al: Soon you'll start in with the uncalled-for slams against my mother...
Al: How she always shops in the husky section. How she wiped out the all-you-can-eat salad bar.
Tim: Al, I simply came out here to put this thing together.
Al: Well, go ahead. Just say it. My mother is a big fat cow!
Tim: Goodness gracious, Al. We'll be right back after these messages from Binford Tools.