Jill Quote #596
Tim: Hey, what are you doing up, honey?
Jill: Ever since you woke me, I couldn't get back to sleep.
Tim: Oh, sorry. What happened to your hair? It looks horrible.
Jill: Well, excuse me. I didn't know I had to dress for your upset stomach.
Tim: Well, I won't look at you that much.
Jill: Thank you.
Tim: I was starting to feast myself on old Tool Times. Speaking of feast, are there any golabkis left?
Jill: If you even think about a golabki, I'm gonna file for a divorceki.
Tim: I wouldn't worry about other guys looking at you with your hair like that. Will you watch some of these Tool Times with me?
Jill: Well, I can't get back to sleep any other way.
More Home Improvement Quotes
Quote from Tim
Randy: All right! I love Polish food.
Tim: I went down to Hamtramick Stan's.
Jill: You were supposed to get pizza.
Tim: Anybody can get pizza.
Jill: You didn't.
Tim: That's 'cause on the way to get the pizza, I heard the call for kielbasa.
Quote from Jill
Jill: You know, the last time you ate Polish food, you were up half the night.
Randy: And in the bathroom the other half.
Tim: That's because I made a pig of myself. This time I didn't order so much. These things look great. Oh, these are great. Brad, you've gotta try the duck blood soup.
Brad: It's all right, Dad. For lunch I had a chicken gut sandwich.
Jill: Well, I hope you're just not gonna stuff yourself again.
Tim: Once you get started on golabkis, it's hard to put the brakes on.
Jill: It's not the brakes I'm worried about, it's your full tank of gas.
Quote from Tim
Tim: Oh! You awake?
Tim: I think all those golabkis I ate turned into one big golabki. Ih. It's wedged between my head and my heinie, honey.
Jill: Go to sleep.
Tim: I can't. Do we have any of those little minty, chalky, chewy stomach thingies?
Jill: There's the liquid stuff downstairs.
Tim: Oh, would you go get it for me?
Jill: I didn't overeat. Why should I have to get up in the middle of the night?
Tim: 'Cause in a second you'll want to be getting out of this bed anyway. Oh.
Quote from Back in the Saddle Shoes Again
Tim: Well, let me ask you a question. Have you ever wished that you'd married somebody as smart as you?
Jill: You think I'm smarter than you?
Jill: Well, that just shows how smart you are.
Tim: You didn't answer the question.
Jill: Do I ever wish that I married somebody else? Why would I wanna marry anybody else? You're funny, you're sexy, creative, you take chances, and you're definitely not afraid to be wrong. I'm perfectly happy being married to a man who thinks that PBS is something that women get once a month.
Tim: What I said was, "Once a month is enough for PBS." And way too much for the other thing.
Quote from Room at the Top
Jill: Yeah, well this is only about ten percent of my problems. The other 90 percent... I'm married, too. You see, my husband, he's going through this sort of midlife crisis thing, you know, "Who am I? Where am I? Should I grow a beard? Should I buy a hunting lodge?" And then... And then... And then today, Brad spilled a soda on my paper, Mark's asking for skulls, and before I knew it, I was asking my husband to start construction on an office.
Dr. Breen: What's- What's wrong with your husband building you an office?
Jill: I'm married to Tim Taylor.
Dr. Breen: Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor?
Jill: Yeah, and maybe you'd better switch to a tape recorder here.
Dr. Breen: I hope I have enough batteries.
Quote from Room at the Top
Jill: I don't really have that much to talk about.
Dr. Breen: Oh, that's OK. Why don't you just tell me a little about yourself.
Jill: Oh, oh, OK. Um... [clears throat] Well, I just hit 40, and I'm trying to jumpstart a new career, and I don't know which I'll get first, my diploma or menopause. [nervous chuckle] On top of that, I have three sons, each of whom is the center of his own universe. Brad has started driving, which is keeping me up worrying half the night, Randy has started questioning everything his father and I stand for, and Mark - he's the youngest one - wears only black and is possibly worshiping the devil.
Dr. Breen: Well, Jill...
Jill: No, no, there's more, there's more. You see, I am completely overwhelmed. My father died about six months ago, and I've been trying to help my mother long distance which is not working at all. And I'm running a house, going to school and leading my own counseling groups, I'm having some people over for dinner tonight and I have no idea what I'm going to make them. She likes fish, he likes chicken. Not that it matters because when I cook, you know, it all tastes the same.