Tim Quote #1601
Quote from Tim in Talk to Me
Dave: Why didn't you call?
Jim: I was busy.
Dave: Too busy to call?
Jim: You know, I was thinking of you.
Dave: What were you thinking?
Jim: I was thinking of calling you.
Dave: No, you weren't.
Jim: Yes, I was.
Dave: Are you lying to me?
Jim: Am I lying?
Tim: [blows horn] Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy. 'Fraid Lorraine's got your biscuits in a vise, buddy.
Dave: Now, wait a minute. I want to know why he didn't call me.
Jim: Dave, I think the role-playing's over.
Dave: Oh.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Talk to Me’ Quotes
Quote from Al
Tim: Make sure the joint on your door is secure.
Al: And for that, we're using a biscuit joiner to cut the slots in our wood for the biscuits.
Tim: Biscuits? Do you think they...
Al: No. They're not buttermilk biscuits. They're not sourdough biscuits. They're not dog biscuits.
Tim: I was just trying to make...
Al: They're not biscuits with honey, they're not biscuits with gravy, they're not biscuits in a box, or biscuits in a basket.
Tim: You're a biscuit case, Al.
Quote from Jill
Jill: I cannot believe that you have the gall to say that I am taking you for granted.
Tim: Here it goes.
Jill: For the last 15 years I've been doing all the thankless jobs around here - the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, and in my spare time I've managed to have three children. You never once thanked me. And the one time that I come to you asking you to carry your weight around here, all I get from you is resentment. The truth is you were happier when I just was stuck here in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant. I should just squat down here right now and shoot out another kid.
Tim: Just don't do it near the furnace vent.
Quote from Wilson
Wilson: Hi-ho, neighbor. You know, Tim, I woke up this morning and the blues were all around my bed.
Tim: Maybe you should have tried vacuuming. Well, I got hit with a croquet ball. I got the black-and-blues.
Wilson: [plays harmonica and sings] Got out of my bed Got hit in the head Knocked out of my shoes I got those lowdown croquet-ball blues
Tim: When did you learn to play the harmonica?
Wilson: This morning.