Tim Quote #1587
Quote from Tim in Talk to Me
Tim: Hey, guys, I'm cheesed. Has this ever happened to you? You're home minding your own business, picking your meal out of the trash compactor, when out of the henhouse, the big old hen starts clucking: "We got some unresolved issues." And don't ever- Don't ever fall for this "they want to talk," you know what they want, they want you to say something to get yourself in trouble.
Jim: Exactly. I hear you.
Tim: You know what I'm talking about, huh?
Dave: We're constantly in trouble with our girlfriends.
Jim: I mean, no matter what we say, we're always in trouble.
Tim: Two bachelors in trouble. Hm. What do you say, we get 'em down here and see if we can help them? What do you think, audience? Bring them on down.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Talk to Me’ Quotes
Quote from Al
Tim: Make sure the joint on your door is secure.
Al: And for that, we're using a biscuit joiner to cut the slots in our wood for the biscuits.
Tim: Biscuits? Do you think they...
Al: No. They're not buttermilk biscuits. They're not sourdough biscuits. They're not dog biscuits.
Tim: I was just trying to make...
Al: They're not biscuits with honey, they're not biscuits with gravy, they're not biscuits in a box, or biscuits in a basket.
Tim: You're a biscuit case, Al.
Quote from Jill
Jill: I cannot believe that you have the gall to say that I am taking you for granted.
Tim: Here it goes.
Jill: For the last 15 years I've been doing all the thankless jobs around here - the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, and in my spare time I've managed to have three children. You never once thanked me. And the one time that I come to you asking you to carry your weight around here, all I get from you is resentment. The truth is you were happier when I just was stuck here in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant. I should just squat down here right now and shoot out another kid.
Tim: Just don't do it near the furnace vent.
Quote from Wilson
Wilson: Hi-ho, neighbor. You know, Tim, I woke up this morning and the blues were all around my bed.
Tim: Maybe you should have tried vacuuming. Well, I got hit with a croquet ball. I got the black-and-blues.
Wilson: [plays harmonica and sings] Got out of my bed Got hit in the head Knocked out of my shoes I got those lowdown croquet-ball blues
Tim: When did you learn to play the harmonica?
Wilson: This morning.