Wilson Quote #187
Quote from Wilson in Bachelor of the Year
Randy: What are you doing, Wilson?
Wilson: Randy, I'm making an alpenhorn. You see, in Switzerland they use these to herd sheep.
Mark: Are you getting a sheep?
Wilson: Actually, I'm making it to play in the local alpenhorn quintet, and you boys are welcome to come out this Saturday and be my guests at the annual horn and yodel fest.
Randy: Sounds like a rockin' good time, Wilson, but I'm going to that clarinet and noodle fest.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Bachelor of the Year’ Quotes
Quote from Mark
Wilson: Mark, are you familiar with photons?
Mark: Sure. I slept on one at my friend Jimmy's house.
Wilson: No, no, I think you're speaking of futons.
Quote from Mark
Mark: The teacher gave me a tough one today. It's about money.
Tim: Hm. What's the problem?
Mark: All right. "Sam has $8. Billy has nothing."
Tim: Wait, wait, wait. Should use real money. Eight bucks?
Mark: Yeah.
Tim: Four, five, six... cool. All right, go ahead.
Mark: All right.
Tim: I'll be Sam. You be Billy.
Mark: Sam gives Billy, 50% of what he has.
Tim: That's $4. One, two, three, four.
Mark: Thanks, Sam.
Tim: All right. Now, Billy gives Sam, 50% of what he has.
Tim: That's two out of the four. OK.
Mark: One, two.
Tim: That's pretty simple. OK.
Mark: All right. Now, Sam gives Billy, a hundred percent of what he has left.
Tim: All right.
Mark: "...how much does Sam have?"
Tim: Nothing.
Mark: Exactly. Thanks, Sam. [walks away with the money]
Tim: Sam wasn't a real bright guy, was he?
Quote from Tim
Al: I must say I'm... I'm very flattered.
Tim: I must say I'm very frightened. Listen to this, "What woman wouldn't wanna cuddle up with Detroit's rugged Mr. Fix-it, Al Borland?" [Al chortles] "Along with his trademark humility, Al displays a quiet competence and an understated sense of humor." So understated, no one gets it.
Al: Obviously someone did.
Tim: Huh? "His big, beaming smile matches his big, beaming behind."
Al: It doesn't say that!
Tim: Well, it should.