Tim Quote #1448

Quote from Tim in 'Twas the Night Before Chaos

Tim: Colonel, it's great to have you on my team.
Colonel Patterson: It's great to be back in action again.
Tim: From what Jill says, you haven't been too active lately, though.
Colonel Patterson: Yeah, here we go. Now there's another monkey in the middle.
Tim: I'm not a monkey in the middle. I'm an objective third party, like the African Manure tribe.
Colonel Patterson: What the hell are you talking about?

Rate

 ‘'Twas the Night Before Chaos’ Quotes

Quote from Jill

Marty: Band-Aids?
Jill: Um, upstairs, top three drawers.
Marty: Which room?
Jill: Every room.

Quote from Al

Tim: Merry Christmas. It's Yule time here on Tool Time.
Al: Merry Christmas. You know, Christmas always reminds me of my childhood. I used to build a snowman every year. I used a carrot for its nose, cookies for its eyes, licorice for its smile.
Tim: Ah, that's a great story, Al. Unfortunately, Al's mom usually ate the snowman.
Al: One year. She used the carrot to make coleslaw.

 Tim Taylor Quotes

Quote from At Sea

Tim: I wanna talk about you and Angela.
Brad: Dad, there's nothing to talk about.
Tim: I want to talk about sex for a minute.
Brad: Dad, I don't want...
Tim: I want you to listen to me, please. Listen up. Sex is, um... It's like a car. The best idea is to keep the car in the garage for a long, long, long time. And then, somewhere in the future, the distant future, when that garage door opens... you gotta think, "car cover".

Quote from Her Cheatin' Mind

Chris: So the only character you liked was the handyman?
Tim: No. I think the hero of this fine novel would have to be the husband. [all laugh]
Chris: He was the quintessential dullard.
Tim: Well, dullard or mallard, I don't care. She was married and only her husband should be allowed near Madame's ovaries.