Benny Quote #8

Quote from Benny in Ye Olde Shoppe Teacher

Mr. Leonard: And you are, uh...?
Benny: Benny Baroni.
Mr. Leonard: The reason I almost quit teaching.
Benny: You remember. Hey. What happened to the hand-crusher?
Mr. Leonard: Uh, I'm afraid I got a little arthritis in there... Hey, don't you owe me a birdhouse?
Benny: I had a lot of extra homework. Uh, I'll have it for you Tuesday.
Al: You know, Mr. Leonard, I actually won a prize with my birdhouse.
Mr. Leonard: Good. [walks away]
Benny: [to Al] Here's $20. Make me a birdhouse by Tuesday?

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‘Ye Olde Shoppe Teacher’ Quotes

Quote from Tim

Tim: I broke the cardinal rule with men. I offered help to a man that didn't want any.
Jill: Well, it looked like he needed it.
Tim: That didn't matter. By offering him help, it made him feel like less of a man.
Jill: Now, wait a minute. Are you trying to tell me that if you saw a guy trapped underneath a boulder and he didn't ask for your help, you wouldn't move the boulder? [Tim shakes his head] That is insane.
Tim: If I moved the boulder the guy would feel like half a man.
Jill: If you didn't move the boulder the guy would be half a man.
Tim: But that half would thank me.
Jill: And men say that women are illogical and irrational?
Tim: They are, but what does that have to do with this?

Quote from Tim

Mr. Leonard: I swear to you, it's the truth. I mean, your father is a genuine original. I got another one for you. Even I can't explain this one. He is gluing a table together one time. Somehow a piece of the table gets stuck to his head.
Tim: There's a mistake I didn't let happen again.
Mark: Dad, didn't you do that...?
Tim: Here, have a cookie, will you, pal?

Quote from Tim

Jill: It is so great to see a mentor and a student reunited again. I used to have an English teacher that affected me the way you did Tim. Um, Mrs. Holloway. She introduced me to Shakespeare. Gosh, I loved Macbeth I used to walk around going, "Out, damned spot! Out, I say!"
Tim: Well, enough of your laundry stories.

Benny Quotes

Quote from Believe It or Not

Tim: I'm talking about extraterrestrials.
Benny: Why would a guy need more than two? [Tim and Marty laugh]

Quote from Super Bowl Fever

Larry: Hey, Benny, turn on the surround sound just for the touchdown.
Al: Not too loud.
Benny: Is this the one? [sparks fly]
Tim: Hey, Benny!
Benny: Let me guess. You hooked it up yourself?

Quote from Super Bowl Fever

Benny: [gets under the covers] Hey, Jill. Would you like some hot sausage? It'll sweat the fever right out of you.