Tim Quote #1361
Quote from Tim in Let's Go to the Videotape
Jill: What happened that ice cream scooper that I bought you?
Brad: It didn't work right. Dad's trying to fix it.
Tim: Dad did fix it.
Jill: Oh, great.
Tim: I took the 35-watt element out and replaced it with one out of an electric curling iron.
Jill: Tim, we don't have time for this. We have to go.
Tim: Now you not only melt the ice cream, you can style at the same time. Just flip her on. Watch this baby go right through this stuff. Look at that. Hey. Milkshake, anybody?
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Let's Go to the Videotape’ Quotes
Quote from Wilson
Wilson: Well, Jill, the renowned psychiatrist lrvin D. Yalom postulated that men relieve their isolation by bonding over common fears and experiences.
Jill: Oh, please, Yalom was talking about universality as it applies to formal therapy, not a bunch of guys sitting around dumping on their wives.
Wilson: [momentarily speechless] Well, well, well- That's an excellent point. However, knowing Tim, I'm sure it was just an innocent exchange bearing no real malice. [chuckles] As Freud so humorously pointed out, "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."
Jill: That is such a crock. As Carl Jung says: "if people can be educated to see the lowly side of their own natures, then they might also understand their fellow man or woman better."
Wilson: With due respect to Jung, I believe it was Bruno Bettelheim...
Jill: Oh, don't Bettelheim me. Tim was talking about me behind my back, and you know what Andrea Dworkin says about that.
Wilson: Well, actually, I don't.
Jill: She says that if women talk about people behind their backs, it's "gossip," but if men do it, it's "male bonding."
Wilson: You know, Jill, ever since you decided to go back to school, you've made things so very, very hard on me.
Quote from Tim
Tim: Something else I figured out we might do. I'm gonna take you to see those three tenors that you love on PBS. Paparazzi, Manicotti and Flamingo. [imitating opera singer]
Jill: Tim, you just named a photographer, a food and a hotel.
Tim: I don't care what they do, they sing great.
Jill: Well, that would be really nice, because... it's always been my fantasy to be with a man who enjoyed doing the same things I do. You know, like taking me to the opera, the ballet, the theater.
Tim: That's my fantasy too.
Jill: Really?
Tim: Mm-hm. If I could find that man, I wouldn't have to go myself.
Quote from Harry
Harry: How's it going?
Tim: Well, I'm numb. I just spent three of the most boring hours of my life at the library.
Eddie: Three hours?
Harry: You know, I think if you put together all the time I've ever spent in a library, it wouldn't come out to be three hours.
Tim: God, who would have guessed?