Jill Quote #1129

Quote from Jill in The Eyes Don't Have It

Jill: OK, OK, OK. How about this? I will meet Mark's teacher at three o'clock and find out what's going on. Since I'll be near here, I'll pick up Brad and Randy. Drop Randy off at football practice at 3:45, Brad off at the saxophone lesson at 4:15 on the way to my 4:30 class. You take Mark to the doctor at four o'clock. Oh. And make sure that she checks that right ear. I think he's got that waxy buildup thing happening again. He might have to have it irrigated. Now, after the doctor, double back to the football field, pick up Randy, come home, make dinner. These should be ready about five o'clock. I'll pick up Brad on my way home. We should get there by six. Does that sound good?
Tim: Yeah. One more time from the top?

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 ‘The Eyes Don't Have It’ Quotes

Quote from Wilson

Mark: I don't want to look like a dork.
Wilson: Well, may I suggest an alternative solution that will help improve your eyesight? Here's a handy little trick I picked up from a Russian ophthalmologist I met at a caviar-tasting festival. Take a piece of paper and you make a tiny, tiny, tiny little hole, then you hold it up to your eye, and it will correct your myopia by allowing the eye to refocus light upon a mosaic of photosensitive receptors.
Mark: What?
Wilson: It'll help you see better.
Mark: Wow! It really works.
Wilson: Uh-huh. And if you use two, it's twice as effective.
Mark: This is great! I'll never have to wear glasses. And I won't look like a dork.
Brad: Mark, Mark, buddy. Just tell me one thing. [takes the pieces of paper and holds them to his eyes] What do I look like?
Mark: A dork.

Quote from Tim

Tim: He does well in school. Maybe the teacher doesn't like him.
Jill: Well, how could she not like him? Mark is adorable.
Tim: Oh, come on. In fourth grade I was adorable. My teacher hated me. Fifth grade teacher didn't like me. Sixth grade teacher really had something out for me. Seventh grade was a nightmare.
Jill: Tim, are you noticing a pattern here?
Tim: I had a string of bad teachers.

Quote from Tim

Al: There is no such thing as a gas-powered porcupine!
Tim: It all depends on what it had to eat. [laughs] Watch how beautifully this seams our lovely wheat-colored Berber. [Tim rips the carpet to shreds]
Al: Well, way to go, Tim. And what would you call that?
Tim: Shredded Wheat Berber.