Tim Quote #1102
Quote from Tim in Room for Change
Tim: If we wanna solve this problem, there's only one thing to do - separate bedrooms.
Jill: We don't have any more bedrooms. And, no, no, no, no, no, no! You're not building any more.
Tim: Honey. Honey, we've talked about this before. Move Brad into Mark's room, and then Mark into Randy's room.
Jill: No. No. OK, Brad is older. He probably should have his own room. But we can't make a decision like that without discussing it with all the boys.
Tim: Why discuss it? The reason we became parents is so we could tell kids what to do. If we can't do that, we're just the tallest people living here.
Jill: You sound like my father.
Tim: All right.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Room for Change’ Quotes
Quote from Al
Tim: Now, to show some of the advantage of soundproofing, the crew and I got here early and constructed a special room. Heidi, my room, please. Now, this room will not only protect you from the elements, keep you warm, but it's also totally soundproof.
Heidi: Here you go, Tim.
Tim: Thank you, Heidi. Watch this, Al. Can't hear a word. It's so good. Watch. Talking like this. You walk in. Hi, everybody. It's just great to be here. My name's Tim "The Tool..." [silence] ...Aah! [audience applaud]
Al: That is truly amazing. We did not hear a sound.
Tim: No. That's how it was designed. You gotta try it. Let yourself go. It's great. Yeah.
Al: [in the booth] Tim, can you hear me? [Tim mouths] You can't hear me? In that case, I should be the host of this show. And another thing. That's a stupid haircut you have. And another thing... [sings] I am a very model of a modern major general I've information vegetable, animal and mineral I know the kings of England I quote the fights historical From Marathon to Waterloo in order categorical
Tim: Al.
Al: Yes?
Tim: Al.
Al: Yes?
Tim: Can you hear me?
Al: I can hear you. [audience laughing]
Tim: Think about that. Major General Borland!
Quote from Tim
Tim: If you're like me, you've spent time on the floor after an accident... waiting for the paramedics to arrive. It's times like these a lot of thoughts roll through your head. "I wonder if the bleeding will stop." "I had no idea electricity could lift me off the ground that high." Or, "From this angle, that smooth ceiling could use a little texture." And how would we do that, Al?
Al: Well, Tim, with Binford's 6100 acoustic spraying system.
Tim: That's right. With the 6100 system, even the most inexperienced, unskilled homeowner can do this simple job.
Al: And who better to demonstrate than you, Tim?
Quote from Wilson
Wilson: Well, Tim, what you're describing to me brings to mind the verruca vulgaris.
Tim: [inquisitive grunt]
Wilson: Also known as the common wart.
Tim: You're calling my sons warts? Not that I mind... I don't mind...
Wilson: No, no, no, no, no, no, Tim. What I'm trying to say is, most people think the best way to get rid of a wart is to cut it off, but in actuality that isn't the best solution. See, the wart will reappear because the virus is still below the surface of the skin.
Tim: So just putting my two warts in separate rooms isn't gonna cure this problem, huh?
Wilson: No. No, Tim, the only way to get rid of a wart is to go beneath the surface of the oily skin and dig out the root.
Tim: I see. Thanks.
Wilson: Mm-hmm.
Tim: Wilson?
Wilson: Mm-hmm?
Tim: This is bar none the most disgusting conversation we've ever had.