Wilson Quote #129
Quote from Wilson in 'Twas the Blight Before Christmas
Tim: You a little confused on the holidays?
Wilson: Hmm?
Tim: Halloween's over. You can put away the witch's broom.
Wilson: Oh, Tim, this is not a witch's broom. This is a julenek.
Tim: A what-a-nek?
Wilson: A julenek. It's a Scandinavian Christmas tradition. Families bind sheaves of grain to a long spruce pole, and that provides nourishment for the sparrows in the winter.
Tim: I wish I could bind up Doc Johnson and twist his little julenek.
Wilson: Well, Tim, that's hardly the Christmas spirit.
Features in the collection: Christmas Quotes.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Christmas Quotes’
Quote from Mark in Yule Better Watch Out
Jill: Actually, honey. I think that those guys at the mall are Santa's helpers, you know. The way that AI is Daddy's helper.
Tim: Right.
Mark: So they do all the work.
Jill: Yeah.
Tim: They assist Santa. Like AI assists me.
Mark: Oh, that makes sense.
Quote from Randy in Yule Better Watch Out
Randy: OK, fine. Here's the truth. There used to be a Santa Claus. But he died six years ago.
Brad: Yep, you just missed out.
Mark: Santa Claus isn't dead.
Randy: Yes, he is. He had a terrible accident with one of his reindeer. Blitzen fell on him.
Mark: He's really dead?
Brad: Kicked the bucket.
Randy: Bought the dirt farm.
Brad: Six feet under.
Randy: Pushing up the daisies.
Brad: Deader than a doornail.
Randy: Stiff as a board.
Brad: Cold as ice.
Randy: Met his maker.
‘'Twas the Blight Before Christmas’ Quotes
Quote from Jill
Brad: But, Mom, I don't wanna go another time. It's gonna be great skiing conditions. A lot of kids from school are gonna be there.
Jill: Honey, I can tell this is important to you, but this family is always together at Christmas. Even that year when your father fell down the chimney, we were together. We were in the emergency room, but we were together.
Quote from Tim
Brad: Dad, it's just one Christmas. I mean, it's not that big a deal.
Tim: Well, it is to your mom and to me and to me. I can't believe you'd be this selfish. Listen to me. Um... In a couple years, you'll be 18. You'll be off to college... or a good trade school. And we won't see you.
Brad: But, Dad, I'll come home.
Tim: Yeah, you'll come home a couple Christmases, but then you'll get married, and I'll never see you. I mean, look at your Mom and me. Your mom's family lives in Texas, mine's in Colorado. We never see our families for holidays. You just don't know how many Christmases we have together, right? I won't be around forever.
Brad: What do you mean?
Tim: Face the facts. You've seen the stunts I pull on Tool Time. I can't keep dodging the bullet.
Quote from Jill
Jill: Gee! I don't know, Tim. There's an awful lot of lights here. We'll have to take out a mortgage to pay the electric bill.
Brad: All right, Dad. Let her rip.
Jill: No, wait a minute. I think we should say a prayer first. Please, Lord, don't let our house blow up. Amen.
Tim: Amen.