Tim: I always wonder what you do up here when nature calls. What do you do, just let it fly and hope you don't hit the foreman? Look out!
Pete: Well, actually, that is the way Dwayne does it, Tim. The rest of us, we just take the elevator down to the Porta-Potti below.
Tim: Hey, wait a minute. Get this rope here, just attach it here to my 'biner, and you can just head down towards that Porta-Potti right down there.
Al: Tim, be careful.
Tim: Well, I don't know, Al... [slips] Oh! Whoa... aah! [crashes through the wooden Porta-Potti]
Al: Tim, are you all right?
Tim: Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Whoo! Long as I'm down here... Could somebody send me a magazine?

Jill: I can't believe you let them do this.
Tim: Before the steam starts coming out of your nose, let me explain.
Jill: You don't have to explain what happened. I know what happened. You all went to the store, you saw the car, you started drooling, the drooling led to grunting, the grunting led to buying.
Tim: You are so far off, it's not even funny. We grunted, drooled, bought.

Tim: Whatever you're cooking sure smells good.
Wilson: Why, thank you, neighbor. I'd offer you some, but this is my homemade shoe polish.
Wilson: So how was your day?
Tim: Oh, same old, same old. Went to work, made fun of Al, crashed through a Porta-Potti.
Wilson: Hmm. Sounds full.
Tim: Oh, that wasn't it. Supposed to teach the boys something about investment, went to buy some one-of-a-kind baseball cards. I let them buy a remote-control car instead.
Wilson: So Jack was sent out to sell the cow, and instead he returns with a handful of magic beans.
Tim: What? Beans? Jack? What are you talkin' about? I think you been sniffin' the fumes in that shoe polish too long.