Jill Quote #340
Jill: Here's what I'm thinking: tomorrow I'm gonna give you boys some money.
Brad: Yeah! Money!
Jill: And then I'm gonna send you to the grocery store, and you're gonna buy everything I tell you to and nothing else.
Randy: Oh, man!
Jill: And when I say potatoes I don't mean potato chips. And milk does not mean Milk Duds, OK?
Brad: Well, can we at least get something sweet?
Jill: You could buy me some flowers - that'd be sweet.
Quote from Wilson
Wilson: You know, it was Robert Ingersoll, a 19th-century lawyer, who said: "It is a blessed thing that in every age somebody has had the courage to stand by their convictions."
Tim: A lawyer said that?!
Wilson: On the other hand, I'm reminded of a general named Pyrrhus.
Tim: That's right.
Wilson: It was a Greek general who fought the Romans. His army won the war, but he lost so many men, it might just as well have been a defeat. Today we call that a Pyrrhic victory.
Tim: What are you saying? That this might not be worth the fight?
Wilson: It wasn't for Pyrrhus. It may be for you. You see, Tim, when it's a question of integrity, there are no easy answers.
Tim: I could come back. You're right, Wilson. This is really a pickle. And I don't mean that dill.
Quote from Tim
Tim: "Whoa" is right. Look at this. The new Binford 6100 reciprocating saw. [audience gasps] Phew! Huh? Every tool Binford makes goes through a rigorous quality-control system to make sure it's top of the line. And the Binford 6100... [Wes Davidson gives Tim a thumbs up]... bombed out big-time. Al, if you wanna walk away, I'll understand.
Al: I never walk away from a tool in need. That's right. The Binford 6100 bombed out of every single test we threw at her.
Tim: And... and I bet you're wondering who's responsible for making a tool like this. It's the new president of Binford Tools, Wes Davidson. He's right over there. A man who doesn't mind a bad tool. As long as it's made by somebody else. 'Cause if it says Binford on it, it's gotta be the best. I think Wes Davidson deserves a big round of applause. Wes. Come on over here, Wes. Come on! It's because of this man you'll only see quality products in your hardware store. Wes, tell us a little bit about the problem you had developing the 6100.
Al: Please, tell us.
Wes Davidson: I'd be glad to, guys. Uh, we found that the motor was a little underpowered.
Al: And the casing?
Wes Davidson: And the casing would have been a little stronger had we used metal.
Quote from Back in the Saddle Shoes Again
Tim: Well, let me ask you a question. Have you ever wished that you'd married somebody as smart as you?
Jill: You think I'm smarter than you?
Jill: Well, that just shows how smart you are.
Tim: You didn't answer the question.
Jill: Do I ever wish that I married somebody else? Why would I wanna marry anybody else? You're funny, you're sexy, creative, you take chances, and you're definitely not afraid to be wrong. I'm perfectly happy being married to a man who thinks that PBS is something that women get once a month.
Tim: What I said was, "Once a month is enough for PBS." And way too much for the other thing.
Quote from Room at the Top
Jill: Yeah, well this is only about ten percent of my problems. The other 90 percent... I'm married, too. You see, my husband, he's going through this sort of midlife crisis thing, you know, "Who am I? Where am I? Should I grow a beard? Should I buy a hunting lodge?" And then... And then... And then today, Brad spilled a soda on my paper, Mark's asking for skulls, and before I knew it, I was asking my husband to start construction on an office.
Dr. Breen: What's- What's wrong with your husband building you an office?
Jill: I'm married to Tim Taylor.
Dr. Breen: Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor?
Jill: Yeah, and maybe you'd better switch to a tape recorder here.
Dr. Breen: I hope I have enough batteries.