Tim: Al has just cleaned this window with Binford's standard-size squeegee, perfect for daily jobs. For the big job, you might want to turn to Binford's mega squeegee. This can clean the windshield of a big rig in one stroke.
Al: And a storefront in under a minute.
Tim: And Al's mother's back in less than an hour. Now remember, if it doesn't say "Binford" on it, somebody else probably makes it.

Wilson: Well, Tim, maybe crying isn't your outlet. The shedding of tears is just one way that people mourn.
Tim: [grunts] Oh?
Wilson: Oh, yes. In parts of Mexico, the bereaved decorate the grave with smiling puppets, and then they eat chocolate coffins.
Tim: Melts in your mouth, but not in the ground.
Wilson: On the Solomon Islands, they hang the dead man's arms on his hut. And in feudal Japan, when a lord died, the ronin samurai would show their loyalty by disemboweling themselves.
Tim: Whew, talk about guts.
Wilson: Point is, Tim, when you lose somebody who's close to you, you have to find a way to mourn. It's what enables you to accept the fact that person is really, truly... gone.

Jill: You know that woman - Marilyn Sanders - who's always raising money for everything?
Tim: Cute blonde with the really big... eyes?
Jill: Those "eyes" are way bigger than they were six months ago. Anyway, she talked me into heading up this library fund-raiser. And I don't have time for this. You know, I got the job and the boys and... my inattentive husband.
Tim: Huh?
Jill: Tim, come on.
Tim: Tell you what you do.
Jill: What?
Tim: You call her up and you lie to her, tell her you gotta spend all this time with your husband 'cause he's got a severe mental problem.
Jill: Where's the lie?