Tim Quote #869

Quote from Tim in A Sew, Sew Evening

Tim: No way! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Home ec? You really gotta take shop. It's where you learn about tools, building things, tearing stuff down, and... [grunts]
Brad: Yeah, but home ec is me and 30 girls.
Tim: What do you wanna be around 30 girls for? Oh-ho-ho! I catch you. Before you go jumping in a room with 30 girls, you really should take shop.
Brad: Why?
Tim: Shop prepares you for women. You learn how to cut wood. How to sever a finger. You learn pain. Then you're ready for women.


 ‘A Sew, Sew Evening’ Quotes

Quote from Wilson

Tim: Have you ever had a real annoying neighbor?
Wilson: Tim, is this a trick question?
Tim: No, I'm talking about that guy next door to me. He just moved in - Joe. He's already bugging me. [Tim bounces a ball against the fence]
Wilson: I know the feeling, Tim.
Tim: That guy is such a pain in the butt. Just being around him gives me a headache.
Wilson: Tim, you wouldn't happen to have an aspirin on you, would you?
Tim: What would you do?
Wilson: Well, what I would do, when I'm face-to face with an irksome individual, I always say look for the good in people.
Tim: Huh. And that works?
Wilson: Most of the time. And if it doesn't... [catches the ball] I take his ball away.

Quote from Jill

Jill: All right, why don't we just sit down and discuss acceptable lies and non-acceptable lies.
Jill: OK, OK. I'll give you some, all right? Lie number one... "I can't go out tonight because my wife is accepting a Mother of the Year award."
Tim: OK.
Jill: All right, lie number two. "I can't go out tonight because my wife is finishing her third book."
Tim: Reading it or writing it?
Jill: Very funny!
Tim: All right, I'm getting the vibe here. "We can't go out tonight because my wife is braiding her back hair."
Jill: Not acceptable!
Tim: A little over the top?
Jill: Yeah.
Tim: All right. "I can't go out tonight because my wife will be hugging me and smothering me in romantic kisses."
Jill: Acceptable, but nauseating.

 Tim Taylor Quotes

Quote from At Sea

Tim: I wanna talk about you and Angela.
Brad: Dad, there's nothing to talk about.
Tim: I want to talk about sex for a minute.
Brad: Dad, I don't want...
Tim: I want you to listen to me, please. Listen up. Sex is, um... It's like a car. The best idea is to keep the car in the garage for a long, long, long time. And then, somewhere in the future, the distant future, when that garage door opens... you gotta think, "car cover".

Quote from Her Cheatin' Mind

Chris: So the only character you liked was the handyman?
Tim: No. I think the hero of this fine novel would have to be the husband. [all laugh]
Chris: He was the quintessential dullard.
Tim: Well, dullard or mallard, I don't care. She was married and only her husband should be allowed near Madame's ovaries.