Tim: Why do women meddle in relationships? Men don't care about that.
Wilson: Uh-oh, Tim. You're falling victim to a cultural stereotype. Historically, men have been the primary matchmakers.
Tim: [inquisitive grunt]
Wilson: For example, among the Xhosa Kaffir tribe, a young man's father would choose his first, sometimes even his second, wife in exchange for a sack of barley or a goat.
Tim: I'd hold out for a sack of cash and a Jag.
Wilson: You see, Tim, unlike the ancient matchmakers, who received goods for their services, Jill's motives are much purer. She only wants what's best for Al.
Tim: Yeah, but why does she drag me into it?
Wilson: Who the heck knows? You know women.

Tim: What is this?
Jill: Brad and Randy wrote to Mark pretending to be Isiah Thomas.
Mark: It's not from Isiah?
Jill: Mark, no professional basketball player is gonna come to our house to eat corn.
Tim: Especially your mom's corn.
Jill: Honey... Look, you're eight years old now. It's time that we had this talk. Stop being such a sap!

Al: I don't think so, Tim. I would never trade wheel covers for the love of a good woman. And, unlike you, I have never used the show as my personal forum. I would like to say something to my special lady.
Tim: Al, what are you gonna do?
Al: Speak from the heart.
Tim: Al, don't do this. Al! [to Jimmy] It was good to have you on the show. Thanks for coming.
Al: [to camera] Dr. Ilene Markham. I, Albert Borland, would like to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?
Tim: [chuckles] That's great. Great. That's great. What are you doing?
Al: I'm proposing.
Tim: Are you crazy? He's crazy.
Al: Crazy in love.
Tim: Oh, boy! Aren't you? Aren't we all? That's all the time we have. Klaus, the music, please.