Tim Quote #778

Quote from Tim in Birth of a Hot Rod

Tim: Hey, hey, hey, I'm trying to work on the engine out here. What's going on?
Randy: Dad, tell Mark to keep his grubby hands out of the Cocoa Busters.
Tim: Mark!
Mark: But I want the 3-D baseball cards.
Tim: [inquisitive grunt] 3-D? I'll get 'em out of there.
Randy: Dad, they're not in there. You have to eat eight boxes and send in the proofs-of-purchase.
Tim: For a normal family that would pose a problem, but we're Taylors. Let's pig out. Open those hoods. [Tim pours cereal into the boys' mouths]
Jill: Very classy.
Tim: And the good news is, hon, they got 2% of our daily minimum requirement of riboflavin.
Jill: Whoa. Riboflavin. Can't get enough of that.

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 ‘Birth of a Hot Rod’ Quotes

Quote from Tim

Jill: I tell you what. I am going to fix the stove and I will fix the ice dispenser.
Tim: You are so cute.
Jill: What? You don't think I can do it?
Tim: No, I have a lot of faith. Lot of faith in a woman who uses tool terms like "whatchamacallit," "thingamajig" and my personal favorite, "doohickey."

Quote from Wilson

Jill: What is it with men, Wilson? You know, they'll spend hours on an engine, putting up a satellite dish, but they won't take five minutes and fix a simple little doorknob.
Wilson: Well, Jill, I find your question astute and sagacious.
Tim: Give it to her, Wilson.
Jill: That's a compliment, Tim.
Wilson: See, Jill, historically, men have been drawn to the jobs that bring them attention and glory, like discovering new lands or winning wars. Women, however, have been expected to work quietly and steadily to maintain the home.
Jill: But that's a long time ago, Wilson. I mean, times are changing. Women are working, men are staying at home, both are working. Roles are reversing.
Wilson: Trenchant and perspicacious.
Tim: Now, that can't possibly be a compliment.
Wilson: I'm afraid so, Tim.
Tim: Oh, you did it to me again.

 Tim Taylor Quotes

Quote from At Sea

Tim: I wanna talk about you and Angela.
Brad: Dad, there's nothing to talk about.
Tim: I want to talk about sex for a minute.
Brad: Dad, I don't want...
Tim: I want you to listen to me, please. Listen up. Sex is, um... It's like a car. The best idea is to keep the car in the garage for a long, long, long time. And then, somewhere in the future, the distant future, when that garage door opens... you gotta think, "car cover".

Quote from Her Cheatin' Mind

Chris: So the only character you liked was the handyman?
Tim: No. I think the hero of this fine novel would have to be the husband. [all laugh]
Chris: He was the quintessential dullard.
Tim: Well, dullard or mallard, I don't care. She was married and only her husband should be allowed near Madame's ovaries.