Al Quote #85
Tim: [theme music starts] Ah! There's the theme music. You know what time that means it is.
Al: Time to hear another word from Binford about some of their fine new products.
Tim: That's right. I'd like to introduce you to Binford's small line of industrial magnets.
Al: The MiniMag 100 is perfect for picking up screws and nails. It can also pick up small tools that have carelessly been dropped behind the workbench. Perhaps the fault of a coworker.
Quote from Randy
Randy: Are you gonna call before you come home?
Jill: Why are you asking me that?
Randy: No reason.
Jill: Yeah, right. I think that you should know that I could be home at any moment. Now, Wilson is gonna be next door the whole time if you need anything. And here are the emergency numbers right here.
Randy: We know. We know. We call them all the time for Dad.
Quote from Wilson
Wilson: How much ballet have you actually seen?
Tim: Well, counting the 30 minutes I saw today, about 36 minutes, lifetime total.
Wilson: Well, then I would have to say that your opinion is based on ignorance.
Tim: You just called me ignorant?
Wilson: Well, when it comes to ballet, I guess I did. Ignorance is a breeding ground for prejudice.
Tim: Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh. You ask anybody. I'm not a prejudiced guy.
Wilson: Not against people. Perhaps against ideas, though. See, Tim. Anytime a man forms an opinion that's not based on facts, then he's a fool.
Tim: Oh, great, great, great. Now I'm an ignorant, prejudiced fool.
Quote from Dead Weight
Al: I was just thinking about my mother, all the great times we used to have. When I was a kid, she used to take us to the park. We'd fly kites, she'd push us on the swing. We'd spend hours on the teeter-totter.
Tim: I used to love the teeter-totter. Up and down. Up and down.
Tim: Well, they play it differently in different parts of the country.
Quote from This Joke's for You
Al: What, your little bell will send 5,000 volts coursing through my body? [chuckles] While he stands back and yells, "Remember the Al-amo!"
Tim: I just want you to press the bell.
Al: I know... It's just a setup, isn't it? It's one big setup.
Tim: It is not a setup!
Al: Soon you'll start in with the uncalled-for slams against my mother...
Al: How she always shops in the husky section. How she wiped out the all-you-can-eat salad bar.
Tim: Al, I simply came out here to put this thing together.
Al: Well, go ahead. Just say it. My mother is a big fat cow!
Tim: Goodness gracious, Al. We'll be right back after these messages from Binford Tools.