Wilson Quote #85
Quote from Wilson in Bye Bye Birdie
Wilson: I see your son Brad is assiduously poring over his academic tomes.
Tim: His what? Oh, yeah, he's studying. Hey, Wilson, do you know how to multiply compound fractions?
Wilson: 'Course I do, Tim. I love mathematics. It's one of the building blocks of thought. Nothing teaches order and discipline better. You know what Galileo Galilei said.
Tim: Yeah, sure. 1601, Florence. "Why do both of my names sound the same?"
Wilson: No, he said, "The universe is written in the language of mathematics. Its characters are triangles, circles, other geometric figures. Without mathematics, one wanders about in a dark labyrinth."
Tim: Labyrinth?
Wilson: Let's just say a maze.
Tim: I know I am.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Bye Bye Birdie’ Quotes
Quote from Wilson
Tim: I want Brad to be a good student.
Wilson: Mm-hm.
Tim: So I told him that multiplying compound fractions is a real important part of that. But, you know, between you and me, it's kinda useless information.
Wilson: Well, I don't know about that, Tim. There was a time when I thought my extensive research into ancient tribal cultures, obscure scientific data, the thoughts of great philosophers, would never come in handy. Then you moved in.
Quote from Randy
Randy: Guess I'd better get my books.
Jill: Not so fast. Why doesn't Brad wanna go to school?
Randy: Uh... 'Cause he and Jennifer broke up.
Jill: They did? Why? What happened?
Randy: I don't know.
Jill: Well, she must have dumped him, or he wouldn't be so depressed.
Randy: Yeah, that's it. You know how sensitive Brad is.
Jill: His little heart is broken.
Randy: And his little tongue is burned.
Quote from Jill
Brad: Well, why do I have to learn how to multiply compound fractions? I'm never gonna use them.
Tim: You use 'em every day.
Brad: When?
Jill: Well, like, when I go to the grocery store and I buy a pound and a half of cheese.
Brad: Yeah, but you're not multiplying anything.
Jill: Well, you didn't let me finish.
Tim: Why don't you finish that?
Jill: Well, I buy a pound and a half of cheese and then I multiply that by... a gallon and a half of milk.
Brad: But why would you do that?
Jill: Because... Because I'm... making cheese milk.
Jill: Now go get your math book. We are going to teach you how to multiply compound fractions.
Tim: Couldn't we just punish him? Send him in his room without his cheese milk? [Jill laughs]