Tim Quote #668
Quote from Tim in You're Driving Me Crazy, You're Driving Me Nuts
Jill: Area code 419? Are we still in Ohio?
Marty: Yes, ma'am. The Buckeye State.
Jill: Didn't you tell me that we were in North Adams?
Tim: I said I know exactly where North Adams is.
Police Officer: Sure does. We gave him directions over an hour ago.
Jill: You gave him directions... Oh, no. Is this the place that we stopped before?
Marty: Sure. We haven't moved.
Jill: How did you do this?
Tim: Well, I was a little confused with the blizzard. You were naked in the backseat.
Police Officer: Oh, hey, hey. Come on, now. This is Ohio. We have laws.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘You're Driving Me Crazy, You're Driving Me Nuts’ Quotes
Quote from Jill
Jill: Our wedding was so beautiful. I am so glad that I didn't let anybody talk me out of marrying you.
Tim: Who tried to talk you out of marrying me?
Jill: Oh, no one. You know, just... my mom, my dad, my sisters, my friends. The minister. The postman. Some guy down at the mailbox. You know. Oh, and Sheila.
Tim: Yeah.
Jill: Who said to me, "Don't marry him. I know a loser when I see one."
Tim: Good thing she was wrong.
Jill: Who said she was wrong? [Tim smushes cake in Jill's face]
Quote from Wilson
Tim: [grunts] I should have just done what she said. You know, got directions and forget my stupid instincts.
Wilson: Oh, Tim. Don't sell your stupid instincts short. Do you realize that people have a tiny compass in their nose?
Tim: I was never aware of that, no.
Wilson: Yes, it's true. People have a tiny iron deposit in their nose. It's right up here, [nasally] near the ethmoid bone. [normally] And that gives them directions to magnetic north, and since men have more iron in their bodies than women, it only follows that they would make a better compass.
Tim: [nasally] If I have such good instincts, how come I couldn't find the wedding?
Wilson: Pardon me, Tim?
Tim: [normally] If I have such good instincts, how come I couldn't find the wedding?
Wilson: Well, Tim, a map is a little more accurate than your nose. Plus, it's a heck of a lot easier to fold.
Quote from Tim
Jill: I can't take any chances. I have to be there a couple of hours early.
Tim: I think you're forgetting who has the radar-like sense of direction around here.
Jill: Tim?
Tim: Yeah?
Jill: Car is out front.
Tim: Well, the radar doesn't really kick in till you get in the car.