Tim Quote #639
Quote from Tim in Dances with Tools
Jill: Tim, you know, Crowley's is only gonna hold that sweater for three days, so if you're gonna get it, you gotta go fast.
Tim: Forget about the sweater. I've got the perfect gift for you.
Jill: If you think filling my car with antifreeze is gonna work as my present again this year, you can forget it.
Tim: Let's put it this way. When you find out what I'm gonna give you, you're gonna want to cover me in chocolate syrup and show your appreciation in weird and unusual ways.
Jill: Chocolate syrup. I've gotta admit, you piqued my interest.
Tim: What do you say to me after we finish dinner every anniversary?
Jill: "Tim, you have mashed potatoes on your tie."
Tim: Jill, you always say, "We should go dancing." This year, we go dancing.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Dances with Tools’ Quotes
Quote from Al
Jerry Holborne: We award this certificate to Tim Taylor for his efforts to promote safety at home and on the job.
Al: You're getting an award for safety?
Tim: Yeah, I am, flannel boy. You got a problem with that?
Al: Well, I guess they didn't see the show where you fell through the roof of the project house.
Tim: Maybe they didn't, Al.
Al: Or the time you glued your head to the table.
Tim: Al!
Al: Or the time when you stapled the...
Tim: Jerry... Jerry, continue.
Jerry Holborne: Your clever staging of realistic-looking accidents clearly shows viewers what not to do. We salute you.
Quote from Jill
Andy: Hey, tool man. I love your show. [grunts]
Tim: [grunts] Oh, yeah.
Andy: You must be Mrs. Arr-arr.
Jill: Well, actually, Arr-arr-arr is my married name. My maiden name was... [high-pitched barking]
Quote from Tim
Randy: Want us to tell you what Mom got you?
Tim: [loudly] No, I don't want you to tell me what Mom got me. The surprise is half the fun. [quietly after Jill goes upstairs] I want to know and I want to know right now.
Randy: Oh, well, you know, I don't want to ruin the surprise.
Tim: Mark, two bucks?
Mark: Broom closet. Top shelf.
Tim: All right.
Randy: Hey, I didn't know there were gonna be bribes involved.
Tim: Where have you been living the last ten years?