Tim Quote #637
Quote from Tim in Dances with Tools
Jill: We will of course be exchanging gifts.
Tim: And you're the hardest person in the world to buy for.
Jill: Yes, I know, I know. But this year I've made it easy for you. Crowley's is holding this beautiful gold hand-knit sweater for me. All you have to do is go down there and pick it up and your anniversary nightmare is over.
Tim: You just waltz in here and deny me the pleasure of shopping for you?
Jill: That's right.
Tim: Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't you want to know what I want?
Jill: I've already got your present and I know you'll love it.
Tim: I hope it's as good as the sweater I bought for you. I shopped for hours for that thing.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Dances with Tools’ Quotes
Quote from Al
Jerry Holborne: We award this certificate to Tim Taylor for his efforts to promote safety at home and on the job.
Al: You're getting an award for safety?
Tim: Yeah, I am, flannel boy. You got a problem with that?
Al: Well, I guess they didn't see the show where you fell through the roof of the project house.
Tim: Maybe they didn't, Al.
Al: Or the time you glued your head to the table.
Tim: Al!
Al: Or the time when you stapled the...
Tim: Jerry... Jerry, continue.
Jerry Holborne: Your clever staging of realistic-looking accidents clearly shows viewers what not to do. We salute you.
Quote from Tim
Randy: Want us to tell you what Mom got you?
Tim: [loudly] No, I don't want you to tell me what Mom got me. The surprise is half the fun. [quietly after Jill goes upstairs] I want to know and I want to know right now.
Randy: Oh, well, you know, I don't want to ruin the surprise.
Tim: Mark, two bucks?
Mark: Broom closet. Top shelf.
Tim: All right.
Randy: Hey, I didn't know there were gonna be bribes involved.
Tim: Where have you been living the last ten years?
Quote from Jill
Andy: Hey, tool man. I love your show. [grunts]
Tim: [grunts] Oh, yeah.
Andy: You must be Mrs. Arr-arr.
Jill: Well, actually, Arr-arr-arr is my married name. My maiden name was... [high-pitched barking]