Al Quote #69
Quote from Al in Where There's a Will, There's a Way
Tim: Thank you. Welcome to Tool Time. I'm Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor, and you all know Al, the great-great-grandson of Sal Borland. [loud applause] Al, you perchance have some friends in the audience today?
Al: More than friends, Tim. I'd like to introduce a group that I inspired.
Tim: People without personalities.
Al: No, Tim. I'd like to introduce a group that's in our studio audience today, the Al Borland Fan Club. [The audience is full of bearded men in flannel shirts] Welcome, members of ABFC. [they salute Al]
Tim: Al, do you call it a club 'cause you've gotta beat these guys over the head to get them to join?
Audience: I don't think so, Tim.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Where There's a Will, There's a Way’ Quotes
Quote from Jill
Jill: I want you to look at some of this stuff.
Tim: Oh, come on. It's tied and the Wolverines need me. Please? Please?
Jill: No, I need you. Come on, you can miss an inning.
Tim: Inning? Why do you always bug me during the football game? Did I bug you during childbirth?
Jill: No, but you bugged me during conception.
Quote from Tim
Jill: "Upon your death, how and to whom do you want your assets to be distributed?"
Tim: Why are we always talking about my death? Let's talk about your death.
Jill: Statistics show it's much more common for the man to die first.
Tim: Yeah? Well, look what we have to live with.
Jill: And it's remarks like that that lead to those early deaths.
Quote from Jill
Jill: Tim, I'm gonna make an appointment with the lawyer. If you're even thinking about getting sick, go see a doctor.
Tim: Honey, I'm healthy as a horse.
Jill: Then see a veterinarian. When was the last time that you had a complete physical?
Tim: Honey, I... I go to the doctor all the time.
Jill: I'm not talking about the emergency room.