Al Quote #57
Tim: All right, now that we have an even layer of mortar, it's time to float our brick. There we go. One more course, and our brick wall will be finished. Oh, golly, Al. I'm out of brick.
Al: Are you telling me, Tim, that you're a few bricks shy of a load? [snorts]
Tim: No, I'm telling you you're one wisecrack short of unemployment. [snorts]
Quote from Mark
Mark: I'm ready.
Randy: Who are you supposed to be?
Mark: I'm Daddy. Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor.
Tim: Right. Yeah.
Randy: You should have gone as Al. We could have gotten more stuff.
Quote from Jill
Jill: What have you been doing down there all day long? What took so long?
Tim: Come on, honey. Horror takes time. Besides, when Brad's guests get here tonight, they're gonna be down there with their hair bleached white, eyes bugging out with that look of horror.
Jill: That's the way you looked on our wedding day.
Tim: I shouldn't have lifted the veil.
Jill: Who told you to wear it?
Quote from Dead Weight
Al: I was just thinking about my mother, all the great times we used to have. When I was a kid, she used to take us to the park. We'd fly kites, she'd push us on the swing. We'd spend hours on the teeter-totter.
Tim: I used to love the teeter-totter. Up and down. Up and down.
Tim: Well, they play it differently in different parts of the country.
Quote from This Joke's for You
Al: What, your little bell will send 5,000 volts coursing through my body? [chuckles] While he stands back and yells, "Remember the Al-amo!"
Tim: I just want you to press the bell.
Al: I know... It's just a setup, isn't it? It's one big setup.
Tim: It is not a setup!
Al: Soon you'll start in with the uncalled-for slams against my mother...
Al: How she always shops in the husky section. How she wiped out the all-you-can-eat salad bar.
Tim: Al, I simply came out here to put this thing together.
Al: Well, go ahead. Just say it. My mother is a big fat cow!
Tim: Goodness gracious, Al. We'll be right back after these messages from Binford Tools.