Jill Quote #168
Jill: Oh, honey, I just... I feel so bad. You know, I just... I never realized that I weigh so much more than that trunk.
Tim: Honey, that trunk didn't give birth to three kids.
Jill: That's right.
Tim: You know, I think maybe you hurt me worse than I thought. Probably be a good idea if I just sat on the couch all week and watched football. I'd feel better I think.
Jill: Well, that's a good idea. Oh, and you know what else? I could... I could get you a little bell... and you could ring it whenever you need me.
Tim: That's silly. If I need you I'll just yell.
Jill: Oh. Good idea. Here's your ice. [empties the ice bag into Tim's pants] Well, pookums. Did I hurt your man pain?
Tim: Mark, you squealer!
Mark: [o.s.] She tricked me!
Quote from Tim
Mark: Do you have to go to the bathroom, Dad?
Tim: I don't think I... I don't think I'm ever gonna go to the bathroom again. Oh!
Mark: What happened?
Tim: I pulled my groin.
Mark: What's that?
Tim: My very favorite muscle.
Quote from Al
Tim: What happened is I pulled a groin muscle yesterday at home. I went to the doc's this morning. He said I'm not supposed to lift anything heavy. So we have to change the format of the show a little bit today. You're gonna have to do all the work.
Al: And what would the change be, Tim?
Quote from Back in the Saddle Shoes Again
Tim: Well, let me ask you a question. Have you ever wished that you'd married somebody as smart as you?
Jill: You think I'm smarter than you?
Jill: Well, that just shows how smart you are.
Tim: You didn't answer the question.
Jill: Do I ever wish that I married somebody else? Why would I wanna marry anybody else? You're funny, you're sexy, creative, you take chances, and you're definitely not afraid to be wrong. I'm perfectly happy being married to a man who thinks that PBS is something that women get once a month.
Tim: What I said was, "Once a month is enough for PBS." And way too much for the other thing.
Quote from Room at the Top
Jill: Yeah, well this is only about ten percent of my problems. The other 90 percent... I'm married, too. You see, my husband, he's going through this sort of midlife crisis thing, you know, "Who am I? Where am I? Should I grow a beard? Should I buy a hunting lodge?" And then... And then... And then today, Brad spilled a soda on my paper, Mark's asking for skulls, and before I knew it, I was asking my husband to start construction on an office.
Dr. Breen: What's- What's wrong with your husband building you an office?
Jill: I'm married to Tim Taylor.
Dr. Breen: Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor?
Jill: Yeah, and maybe you'd better switch to a tape recorder here.
Dr. Breen: I hope I have enough batteries.