Tim Quote #362
Quote from Tim in Al's Fair in Love and War
Tim: Am I even in the book?
Jill: No way. Of course you are. You're just not looking in the right place. It was April... That's it. There.
Tim: "Tonight I met the biggest..."
Jill: "Jerk."
Tim: "..on campus.' Tim Taylor. So, it was love at first sight, huh?
Jill: Well, come on, Tim. The first time I saw you, you were hanging from the roof of the girls' dorm, swinging through the air with panties on your head, going, "Send out the virgins to wax my loins."
Tim: [grunting] Oh, yeah.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Al's Fair in Love and War’ Quotes
Quote from Jill
Jill: It's just my diary from college. There's nothing that would interest you in here.
Tim: Really? Hey, what about that steamy night in Saugatuck we spent, huh?
Jill: There might be one short paragraph.
Tim: I bet it says something like. "Tonight, I saw paradise."
Jill: "And it was a very small island."
Quote from Tim
Tim: No, no, no. I promised I wouldn't touch it. [Randy starts to walk away with Jill's diary] Whoa. But that doesn't stop you from putting it out and accidentally opening it up.
Randy: Wait a second. This could be worth something. I could tell Mom about this.
Tim: And I could duct-tape you to a ceiling fan and force-feed you liver.
Randy: How's "August 22. 1974"?
Quote from Randy
Tim: Gather around, my sons.
Randy: What's up, Dad?
Tim: Tonight, we put a carcass on the grill, oil up our bodies, put our loincloths on and celebrate...
the first barbecue of the season. [grunts] And you'll notice, Daddy-o here has a 20-gallon steel cylinder filled with propane. I've increased the outlet valve of this twice over. Which means we'll be cooking with what?
Randy: The fire department?