Jill: Robbie, can I give you just a little piece of advice?
Robin: No.
Jill: Well, you're gonna hear it anyway. Marriage is about one thing - compromise. And guess who gets to do most of that?
Both: We do.
Jill: It's 70-30. Unless you count childbirth, and then it's 97-3.

Jill: Now, listen, you need to learn to let some things go, because you know you make everything such a big deal. Just eliminate the things that drive you the craziest.
Robin: Well, that would be Charlie. He is such a slob, Jill. He leaves his clothes on the floor, his wet towels on the bed. I wish he was more like Tim.
Jill: Hah!
Robin: At least Tim helps you out around the house.
Jill: Well, of course he does. I trained him. Without me he'd still be in the backyard eating out of a trough.
Robin: How did you train him?
Jill: Well, first I got rid of the trough.

Tim: How do women and men even stay together?
Wilson: It has to do with barbed wire, Tim.
Tim: [inquisitive grunt]
Wilson: As a boy I used to spend summers at my Uncle Leonard's farm, and at the edge of his property he had a huge oak tree. Running through the middle of that tree was an old barbed-wire fence.
Tim: It went right through the tree?
Wilson: Right through the middle of the tree. When a tree is planted close to a fence, it has nowhere to grow. As it expands and grows bigger, it extends over the fence and slowly envelops the wire. The two separate entities gradually become one.
Tim: Am I the tree or the barbed wire?
Wilson: Well, I don't think you're the tree, Tim. [Tim laughs] Ah, the point is, the two were joined without destroying the tree or losing the integrity of the fence. It's almost as if they belong together.
Tim: Like Jill and me.