Randy Quote #30
Randy: Hey, Brad. Your muscles look really big.
Brad: Think so?
Randy: Yeah, the one in your head.
Brad: You'd better watch it.
Tim: Settle, boys. I'll give you haircuts.
Quote from Wilson
Wilson: Well, it sounds like he's spending all his time looking backwards and you're spending yours looking forward.
Tim: That's it. I can't keep up with this guy. The thought of crushing a beer can on my head makes my butt quiver.
Wilson: Well, that's why I gave it up, Tim.
Tim: I don't know what to do about him.
Wilson: Well, it sounds to me like you're having a hard time saying goodbye.
Tim: Why should I say goodbye? He's been one of my best friends for 15 years.
Wilson: Well, has he, Tim? Or was he your best friend 15 years ago? You see, Tim, I believe it was St. Paul who said: "When I was a child I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child. But when I became a man, I put away childish things."
Quote from Tim
Tim: And that's how you beat Old Man Winter, by installing a properly clad aluminum storm window inside your wood-frame window. Now, no less effective, and sometimes less costly is installing plastic sheeting on the inside of your window. Right, Al?
Al: That's right, Tim. We've taken a three-millimeter piece of plastic sheeting, cut it two inches larger than our interior frame.
Tim: Right, Al. And we've tucked it over the top, taped it. And now are ready to shrink it using an electric hair dryer. Lisa?
Lisa: Here you go, Tim.
Tim: Thanks. We do this to get a wrinkle-free, clear covering over our windows. Now, this works best, but if you don't happen to have a hair dryer, you can always get your mother-in-law over to the house and have her yap at the window for a while. [shrill voice] "You know, you should have married Dr. Conrad. He's a brain surgeon. No, you end up with this loser on the tool show. [hair dryer noise]" Ah! I've just... You don't want... You don't want... You don't want to irritate any mother-in-laws, do you, Al?
Al: You already have, Tim.
Tim: That's it from me. Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor, reminding you to get those storm windows and doors in early, 'cause you never know when that storm's gonna come rolling through. See you next time.
Quote from The Longest Day
Randy: Why does this bad stuff always have to happen to me?
Tim: Well, bad stuff happens to everybody. Bad stuff happens to me all the time.
Randy: Yeah, but you cause it.
Quote from Say Goodnight, Gracie
Tim: [deep voice] No. Leave the girl alone. Give me my bamboo. My bamboo.
Gracie: Oh, Mr. Panda, thank you so much from saving me from Mr. Monkey.
Tim: Oh, don't thank me. Thank Mr. Tiger.
Gracie: That's Mr. Lion Cub.
Tim: Sorry. I've never been a lion cub before.
Randy: Well, I have. You know, I gotta tell you, it's a tough gig. Everyone expects you to be king.