Mark Quote #21

Quote from Mark in Yule Better Watch Out

Jill: Actually, honey. I think that those guys at the mall are Santa's helpers, you know. The way that AI is Daddy's helper.
Tim: Right.
Mark: So they do all the work.
Jill: Yeah.
Tim: They assist Santa. Like AI assists me.
Mark: Oh, that makes sense.

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Features in the collection: Christmas Quotes.

‘Christmas Quotes’

Quote from Randy in Yule Better Watch Out

Randy: OK, fine. Here's the truth. There used to be a Santa Claus. But he died six years ago.
Brad: Yep, you just missed out.
Mark: Santa Claus isn't dead.
Randy: Yes, he is. He had a terrible accident with one of his reindeer. Blitzen fell on him.
Mark: He's really dead?
Brad: Kicked the bucket.
Randy: Bought the dirt farm.
Brad: Six feet under.
Randy: Pushing up the daisies.
Brad: Deader than a doornail.
Randy: Stiff as a board.
Brad: Cold as ice.
Randy: Met his maker.

Quote from Tim in Home for the Holidays

Heidi: Merry Christmas and welcome to Tool Time. We're live on Al's rooftop. Now, here's the star of the show, Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor.
Tim: Thank you, Heidi. I am Tim... Well, "The Yule Man" Taylor. And, of course, you all know my assistant, Al "Be Home for Christmas Just Like Every Other Night" Borland.

 ‘Yule Better Watch Out’ Quotes

Quote from Randy

Randy: OK, fine. Here's the truth. There used to be a Santa Claus. But he died six years ago.
Brad: Yep, you just missed out.
Mark: Santa Claus isn't dead.
Randy: Yes, he is. He had a terrible accident with one of his reindeer. Blitzen fell on him.
Mark: He's really dead?
Brad: Kicked the bucket.
Randy: Bought the dirt farm.
Brad: Six feet under.
Randy: Pushing up the daisies.
Brad: Deader than a doornail.
Randy: Stiff as a board.
Brad: Cold as ice.
Randy: Met his maker.

Quote from Wilson

Wilson: Well, who says he doesn't exist, Tim? I believe it was Hamlet who put it best when he said: "There are more things in heaven and earth, good neighbor, than are dreamt of in your philosophy."
Tim: But Brad and Randy already said he was dead.
Wilson: Technically, that's true. He died in the year 342.
Tim: Well, then, who's at the mall?
Wilson: Oh, no, Tim. I'm talking about the original Santa Claus. St Nicholas, the bishop of Myra in Asia Minor. He used to go around to the houses of the poor people, on his donkey, with bags of gold, and drop them down the chimney.
Tim: Why would he drop donkeys down the chimney?
Wilson: I'm talking about the bags of gold, Tim.
Tim: Well, hopefully he can put a remote-controlled dinosaur down my chimney for Mark, because the stores are sold out of them.
Wilson: Well, maybe Santa Claus might bring it to him.
Tim: I thought you said Santa was dead.
Wilson: Ah, but Tim, the spirit of Santa lives on. It lives in all of us. Well, I must get back to my chestnuts roasting on an open fire. [chuckles] You know, that reminds me of a song. On the first day of Christmas, my true love sent to me A partridge in a pear tree On the second day of Christmas...

 Mark Taylor Quotes

Quote from Nothing More Than Feelings

Mark: Mommy, I'm worried.
Jill: About what, honey?
Mark: If you drool and sleep on your back, won't you drown?
Jill: No, honey. Thank you for your concern. Eat a carrot.

Quote from It Was the Best of Tims, It Was the Worst of Tims

Mark: Are Mom and Dad up yet?
Brad: No. And quit bugging us!
Mark: But it's late. When are they gonna get up?
Randy: Don't you know anything? Whenever Mom and Dad have a fight, Dad apologizes, and then, the next morning, they sleep late.
Mark: I don't think they're sleeping.
Brad: You don't? Why not?
Mark: Because I heard them jumping up and down on their bed.
Randy: Oh... Well, you know, they're probably just having one of their, um... somersault contests.
Brad: Yeah. It's a lot like the Olympics.
Mark: Sounds like fun. Why don't they ask us to play?
Randy: Trust me, Mark. You don't wanna play.