Tim Quote #95
Quote from Tim in Nothing More Than Feelings
Jim: I do a lot of carving and I just bought myself a serious set of chisels.
Tim: Probably like the Binford 600 series. You used them last week, Al. [Al is silent]
Jim: Anyway, uh... The other day, I come home and there's my wife out in the garage...
Tim: Where she doesn't belong.
Jim: And she's... She's prying the lid off a gallon can of paint with my three-eighths-inch skew chisel.
Tim: Oh, jeez. And they wonder why we die first.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Nothing More Than Feelings’ Quotes
Quote from Mark
Mark: Mommy, I'm worried.
Jill: About what, honey?
Mark: If you drool and sleep on your back, won't you drown?
Jill: No, honey. Thank you for your concern. Eat a carrot.
Quote from Tim
Jill: Tim, the car is running fine.
Tim: It used to be running fine. Inside of a car is an internal combustion engine. Composed of many precision parts running at a high RPM. High RPM produces friction. Friction produces heat. Heat is dissipated by lubrication - oil. When the car didn't get the oil that it needs, it tends to seize up into a rock.
Jill: Are you saying the car's not running?
Tim: We now own a 4,000 pound, four-door boulder.
Jill: You mean I can't drive it?
Tim: Not unless you're Wilma Flintstone.
Quote from Tim
Tim: How long has the oil light been on, Jill?
Jill: Oil light...
Tim: The oil light. Next to the speedometer. A little red light with an oil can on it.
Jill: Oh, that thing. I don't know, two or three days.
Tim: Two or three days? It's a warning light. Didn't it occur to you there might be a little problem?
Jill: I thought if there was a problem with the car, that the light would get brighter or there would be a buzzer.
Tim: A buzzer?! It's a car, not a game show.